[action - goldenrod base]

[moneylogues]

[One of the interesting things about being a mercenary in a dangerous galaxy means that waking up in an unknown location with no clue how he got there? Not necessarily that new. Well. It also happens when he's had a fun night sometimes, but that generally means there's a hot blonde next to him or something.

But this whole... whatever it is, this is new. And he doesn't like it one bit. He also doesn't like that he doesn't have any of his gear. No armor, no guns, not even any of his knives. And no sword. No key.

Yeah, that doesn't put him in the greatest mood.

All this Rocket shit doesn't interest him one bit and, honestly, he's only half paying attention to all of this. Not his problem. Like any of these people can match the paycheck he was gonna get back home. No way. He needs to get far away from wherever the hell this planet is.

So. Anyone in the Goldenrod Rocket base might just spot Felix wandering around and... checking every supply closet, cabinet, and drawer he comes across. And every time, he looks disappointed at the contents. Next up is a hallway closet. He opens it up...]

Aaaaaand behind door number four is... another supply closet! Oh, good! I guess I'm all set if I need to mop something.

This is all just great.

[Frustrated, he slams the door shut. The sound travels through the halls, but he really doesn't give a shit right now.]

Seriously, where the fuck do these idiots keep the weapons?

Comments

[garbagechild]

Weapons?

Why are you looking for weapons?

Only stupid, feeble humans need those. What are you, a little human baby?

<sub>[The smug-ass edgelord voice mocking Felix's Gun Quest (tm) is honestly obnoxious enough just from the words alone, but just to make things extra surreal, said voice is definitely the high-pitched squeak of an elementary-schooler.]

[Sure enough, looming overhead is... a ten-year-old of indeterminate gender perched on top of the shoulders of a Kangaskhan and smirking like they just delivered the sickest burn of the century.]</sub>

Weapons. Pffahaha.

[moneylogues]

[...Felix just turns, slowly, at first convinced he can't actually be hearing what he thinks he's hearing. But no. The big creature is unexpected, but that is definitely a freaking kid.

It does make sense, those insults are absolutely at a kid's level. But then again, considering some of the grown adults he's met...

Either way, he just... tilts his head. Because really? Really?]

Really, you're asking if I'm the baby? Really, don't you have an adult who should be keeping an eye on you?

[He is kinda wondering what the fuck a kid is doing in what is clearly a criminal base, but also wow he doesn't wanna deal with this, so who cares, right?]

Seriously, kid, no one asked you.

[garbagechild]

<sub>[YES, FELIX. IT IS TRUE. The spirit of preteen mall goths is physically present and being a little bitch in your direction.]

[No one can claim Wolverine Jr. here doesn't uphold the Team Rocket aesthetic, though.]</sub>

An adult? That's what Mama is here for.

_{[The Kangaskhan lets out an affirmative rumble.]}

And anyway, who were you asking then?

You were just looking into the closet and talking, and there's nobody else around.

[moneylogues]

[Felix just looks at the Kangaskhan for a moment.]

...Yeah, really not what I meant, junior.

[God. Okay. So now he's gotta deal with this. This day just keeps on getting better and better.]

Oh, see, the answer to that is simple. I was talking to "business". First name "none of your".

Christ, what kind of a criminal organization has kids running around the place?

[garbagechild]

<sub>[Wrath pauses, visibly turning that name over in his mind. His main thought? That he doesn't know any Rocket named Nonovyor Bisness.]

[Wrath and snarky puns are not really compatible at this point.]

[He does, however, know enough to take offense at the rhetorical question that follows, and he sniffs haughtily.]</sub>

I'm as good a Rocket as anyone! I am loyal and can fit into small spaces, like vents and washing machines. It's a unique talent.

_{[AKA that is what an Admin said, dubiously, while filling out his last evaluation, and he took it to heart.]}

What do you bring to the table?

_{[WEAPONS? Oh wait they're not allowed to have those.]}

[moneylogues]

Considering what I've seen of these Rockets so far? That's really nothing to brag about. But hey, good job buddy, you've found yourself a niche. I'm sure you're a valued member.

[There are so many things wrong with this. Just... so many, he doesn't even know where to start.]

See, here's the thing? I'm not interested in bringing anything to this particular table.

I'm already bringing plenty to a whole different table, thanks.

[garbagechild]

Oh, I see.

_{[Wrath tosses his head with an infuriating "knowing" smile on his wolfish little face.]}

Well, I used to be with a different team too.

But Team Rocket is much better.

Here, you get paid, and also given food and a place to sleep.

It's pretty great!

_{[Yes, he IS trying to sell this organization based entirely on the fact that they provide completely basic necessities. To be fair, he literally doesn't know any better.]}

[moneylogues]

[.........]

Kid. Back where I was, I had a job that was going to pay me so much that I would literally never have to worry about money ever again. You have no idea just have filthy rich I was about to be.

[And right when he was so close, he ends up in this shithole.]

I mean, it's great for you that you don't have any standards, but I do have them.

[garbagechild]

_{[Oh. Now he looks offended.]}

What do you mean?

I have lots of standards!

_{[He actually doesn't entirely know what 'standards' means. He's not the greatest at abstract concepts that aren't directly related to theatrical monologues about the evils of humanity.]}

[moneylogues]

No. No, if you're happy with just a paycheck, food, and a place to crash, then you absolutely don't have standards. That's the bare fucking minimum right there.

And you need to get more out of a job than that. Otherwise there's no point.

[Why is he arguing about this with a kid?]

[garbagechild]

<sub>[Because he's lost control of his life, obviously.]

[Wrath huffs.]</sub>

You forgot about the part where they give you two whole Pokemon.

That's more than anybody else gets.

_{[This kid has drunk the Rocket kool-aid pretty thoroughly. But that's what happens when you drop a brainwashed technically-an-infant straight from one criminal organization into another without any intervention.]}