"We probably should," Steven admits. "I can't think of anyone on the team who would help. Steve P just listens to whichever authority figure is loudest. We barely know Spinel. Lydia's great, don't get me wrong--she's one of my favorite people--but she's utterly amoral and self-serving. And Tyler...
"I was-- wrong about Tyler being, uh, 'a decent person,' although in my defense his Normal Person game is amazingly strong. I stand in awe of it. Though, uh, it probably helped that he was fairly normal before he was kidnapped by fairies too. Different kidnappers," he clarifies. "Honestly, I think his was worse. But, well, we're not the same people when we come back as when we left. And the shit that happened to him... he's got some pretty strong problems with, like, empathy and shit."
Steven sighs and rakes his long fingers through his short hair. "Which I kind of wish he'd told me sooner or I wouldn't have-- I mean, normal people usually... I mean, sharing confidences with them usually works as like a bonding thing? I wanted to bond with Tyler. He's the only person here who's been through the same shit I was. I wanted to-- actually be his friend. But that's not possible, and I wish I'd known, damn it. I'd have handled him so goddamn differently. I didn't realize that I was just burdening him with things that reminded him of everything he had trouble with. I wouldn't have-- god, I don't know. Tried for emotional intimacy.
"Like, I get it! I really do! It's hard to tell people when you're broken inside, especially when you're broken that way. I was born different. I get it. I just... I'd have understood. Even if he had no reason to know that. Not nearly to the same degree, I can care about people and even love them, or at least I think I can, but. I'm, uh, definitely closer to that end of the scale than you or Connie are. Honestly, a lot of us on the team are. Maybe that's why the space llama god sent us to where Team Rocket could grab us."
He sighs. "And... I'm going off track. I just wish I'd known that, I guess. I wouldn't have fucked things up so much with him. Or, well, I'd have done it differently, anyway."
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"I was-- wrong about Tyler being, uh, 'a decent person,' although in my defense his Normal Person game is amazingly strong. I stand in awe of it. Though, uh, it probably helped that he was fairly normal before he was kidnapped by fairies too. Different kidnappers," he clarifies. "Honestly, I think his was worse. But, well, we're not the same people when we come back as when we left. And the shit that happened to him... he's got some pretty strong problems with, like, empathy and shit."
Steven sighs and rakes his long fingers through his short hair. "Which I kind of wish he'd told me sooner or I wouldn't have-- I mean, normal people usually... I mean, sharing confidences with them usually works as like a bonding thing? I wanted to bond with Tyler. He's the only person here who's been through the same shit I was. I wanted to-- actually be his friend. But that's not possible, and I wish I'd known, damn it. I'd have handled him so goddamn differently. I didn't realize that I was just burdening him with things that reminded him of everything he had trouble with. I wouldn't have-- god, I don't know. Tried for emotional intimacy.
"Like, I get it! I really do! It's hard to tell people when you're broken inside, especially when you're broken that way. I was born different. I get it. I just... I'd have understood. Even if he had no reason to know that. Not nearly to the same degree, I can care about people and even love them, or at least I think I can, but. I'm, uh, definitely closer to that end of the scale than you or Connie are. Honestly, a lot of us on the team are. Maybe that's why the space llama god sent us to where Team Rocket could grab us."
He sighs. "And... I'm going off track. I just wish I'd known that, I guess. I wouldn't have fucked things up so much with him. Or, well, I'd have done it differently, anyway."