Oh Dirk. Steven probably shouldn't be so amused by your plight, but there's that well-concealed sadistic streak rearing its shitty head again.

He stands up. Moves closer to Dirk's head. Holds out his own hands.

"Hey, kiddo, I know you want to love on him, I do, but he's not me and he's not Lydia. Not everyone likes to be cuddled, remember?"

He glances at Dirk. "Sorry," he says, not sounding particularly sorry. "That's Miasma and Casper's kid. The other two were Gastlies, but this one takes after their dad. Shuppets are... really affectionate, depending on the person. This little guy has been following me around pretty much since they were hatched—they like to hide in my pocket—you're one of very few people I've seen them leave me for. You sure you aren't in the market for a new Ghost?"

The little shuppet, unfortunately, really doesn't seem to want to leave their new best friend. This garbage brain is theirs.