Video

[conniemaheswaran]

[The video turns on and there Connie is, in her full, ridiculous, blue-skinned disguise, lounging on a... black stool on a black background and looking pleased as punch. She raises her palm to her cheek, grins wickedly, and gives a triumphant,]

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOOOOOOWAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[before her smile gets more unambiguously gleeful.]

Guess who just got promoted to PRIVATE? After six months as a grunt, it was about time!

I also got my first shiny off that heist. In fact...

[Connie gets up, walks forward, and... emerges from the mouth of a huge shiny Palossand.]

Here she is! She's surprisingly comfy to sleep in; Palossands have incredibly fine control over their own sand particles as it turns out.

We got back just in time for the trip, too. Anybody have plans for Sinnoh?

...not crime plans. I think doing crime plans in a new region would be a pretty bad idea, honestly.

Comments

video;

[amaure]

Well, well! I suppose congratulations are in order. And what an intriguing creature you've been bequeathed, as well!

[He has not seen one like it, so really he doesn't even know what the normal ones look like. He will be quite disappointed, the black sand is a good look.]

As for Sinnoh... I plan to stay back, I have little interest in visiting the new region, and I suppose someone ought to hold down the fort, so to speak, while the rest of you enjoy yourselves. I certainly hope that the lot of you can refrain from breaking any laws whilst over there, because we are in agreement: it would be foolish.

[The real reason he isn't going to Sinnoh is because Dirk can't. If Dirk could and wanted to, he would be leaving, but he's not about to admit that. Well, part of it is because he sees little purpose in going, but shh.]

Video, subs

[asmywitness]

[Tyler's really feeling too lazy to video today, but he does it for Connie so she can see his genuine smile for her.]

Congratulations. I'm not sure how much I can advise sleeping in your ghost's mouth but that's still a really cool reward.

[fingersandteeth]

[Steven's practically beaming at her.] She's gorgeous, mija, and I am so, so proud of you. And maybe slightly jealous too. I just got my first shiny too, as a reward for mentoring Osomatsu through his first heist, but mine isn't quite as pretty—actually, [he adds, lowering his voice for effect,] I didn't realize I had a shiny at first, I thought they were just a very sick grass-type that had gone worryingly brown.

[conniemaheswaran]

That's understandable.

I mean, you've gotta be there when Dirk comes back from challenging the Elite Four to give him a... welcome-back gift, after all.

[She arches a single eyebrow and smirks.

Just because she's a teenager doesn't mean Connie isn't capable of reading between the lines.]

[amaure]

[Well, that gets her a small laugh, his hand covering his mouth as he does so. When it lowers, it reveals a knowing smirk.]

My, aren't you keen! Indeed, I suppose that may very well have something to do with it. But never you mind about that, such thoughts should not be for you to entertain.

[conniemaheswaran]

Don't worry, I made sure she didn't eat souls before I started crashing out in there.

It's a lot easier and more convenient than throwing up a tent, too. Also nice and cozy.

[Just barely enough room for two if Marie stretches it.]

[conniemaheswaran]

[Connie giggles at that, imagining her tio fussing over that poor Pokémon.]

Oh no. Please don't tell me you took them to the PokéCenter and asked Nurse Joy what was wrong with them.

[fingersandteeth]

I did. I said they were a trade and I was terrified their last owner hadn't been treating them well and I was very glad to find out that they were supposed to look like that.

And also relieved that they hadn't just given Osomatsu as much money as he'd have got for beating Jasmine while sticking me with a half-dead Cacnea.

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Yaaaay congratulations Connie!

[Spinel claps for her. At her shiny Pokemon, she leans closer to get a better look.]

I don't get it. What's a shiny?

[asmywitness]

I don't think I'd be able to stand waking up every day with sand in my hair. You do you, though.

I would have thought you'd want to spend the whole two weeks with your girlfriend. Have an extended romantic getaway of some kind. [There's a little bit of a teasing grin there.] I plan on exploring the underground they mentioned, though. And since you clearly don't mind getting dirty, how would you like to do it together?

[conniemaheswaran]

Believe me, I'm well aware. It's your business, but that doesn't mean I can't ruthlessly tease you both about it. Especially since Dirk acted like such a prude when I first met him.

[conniemaheswaran]

Oh my god, everyone there must've give you the biggest stinkeye. Shinies are pretty rare, you know.

And good on Osomatsu. I'm kinda surprised they handed out such a hefty reward to a grunt, though.

[fingersandteeth]

Yeah, I did get a few dirty looks when I burst in to say that they were dying, please help.

[He shakes his head.]

It was a pretty impressive first heist, really. The two of us disguised ourselves as cleaners and raided every room safe at that one hotel at Ecruteak, you know, the really nice one. It was just a matter of following in the real cleaners' wake and using my klefki and my new rotom to get the safes and rooms open for us.

So I'm sure that the amount we brought in far exceeded what they payed Osomatsu. And it was just two of us.

[conniemaheswaran]

A special kind of Pokémon that has a different coloration than normal. A lot of them are super pretty, and they are extremely rare.

[conniemaheswaran]

Me and Carly joked that after the heist, we'd need a whole 'nother cruise to unwind from how stressful the planning was, and lo and behold: another vacation opportunity falls into our laps! This world has a really weird sense of karma, I guess.

And oooooh, that sounds fascinating. I'd be down to explore it if you are!

[conniemaheswaran]

That was definitely a good plan. Certainly less theatrical than what we did, but I can see how it paid off.

Did you get any cash too, or did they just give you the Cacnea?

[amaure]

Well, who am I to ruin good fun, hm?

Rest assured, whatever prudish distinction he attempted to present himself with has certainly proved to have no place inside the bedroom. In fact, I would say that your description of him fell rather flat indeed, but I suppose he is a more private sort when it comes to such affairs.

[He says. On the open rocket network. With no shame at all.]

[fingersandteeth]

Just the Cacnea, but honestly, I didn't press hard for money for myself. I wanted to show them what a good mentor I am.

After all, all the best jobs with the Team are locked behind beta rank.

[He shrugs.]

It's actually an adaption of how Jack and I cleared out the safes at Resort Gorgeous, which in itself is an adaption of how Tyler and I originally planned to get the S.S Anne before we realized that we'd need to actually be passengers on the boat to pull it off.

Yours was great, though--I saw a phone recording someone put on Staryutube. That whole Rocket Excalibur and Rocket Prydwen thing--that was inspired. Everywhere I go, I hear the locals speculating about them.

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Ohhh I want one! Where can I find them? I'm guessing it's not easy, since you said they were rare...

[Looking for a shiny Pokemon seems a lot more fun than... well what she normally does. Which isn't much.]

[asmywitness]

It sounds like there's potential to find a lot of rare stuff down there. Maybe we can find something to give your girlfriend as a holiday present.

[There is ABSOLUTELY a cheeky grin on his face now.]

[conniemaheswaran]

[Connie begins cracking up uncontrollably at that.] And I thought I was good at roasting Dirk. Be careful, or he might get sulky and make that face that he insists isn't actually an expression of an emotion of any kind but you can still see him pouting. You know. That one.

[conniemaheswaran]

Listen, most people think Rockets are some kind of cartoon villain. Might as well lean into it.

Oooh, actually... would you like to see the speech? We had poses and props and everything, but most of the gear footage didn't catch it.

[conniemaheswaran]

Trainers can find them in the wild, and Breeders can breed them...

But we have to steal them.

Just our luck.

[Connie sighs, pouting.]

I'd say it's unfair, but honestly it makes sense.

[conniemaheswaran]

Ex-actly what I was thinking, Tyler.

Same braincell.

[After working with a pack of horndogs for almost half a year, Connie has no shame unabashedly loving and being cute about her girlfriend.]

[fingersandteeth]

No, no, it's definitely true. There's a reason I went full Snidely Whiplash in my Pokemon contest skit where I... played myself, more or less.

And yes, I'd love to see the speech, mija. I couldn't quite make out all the words on the Staryutube vid.

[amaure]

Yes, little do I wish to upset him, even if I do find it all rather charming.

[And, perhaps that might be why he's said anything at all. Well, less to truly upset Dirk, but there is certainly something endearing about him trying to mask his emotions behind that mask of stoicism, yet it does not quite work against Solus.]

Nevertheless, congratulations on your promotion and the new addition to your team. Pray, should you find aught of interest in your travels to Sinnoh, keep myself or Dirk appraised, yes? Most assuredly he would find some comfort in knowing what he might otherwise be missing.

[asmywitness]

[Look, at least Tyler doesn't openly flount his own horniness like some people - you'd be hard-pressed to know he's even IN a relationship. Just. Ignore the hickies he has more often than not.]

I appreciate being granted braincell privilege, thank you very much. I'll be sure to use it wisely.

Girls still like dinosaurs, right? It looked like there were fossils in that photo the pamphlets had.

[conniemaheswaran]

CARLY! Get on here, we have to do our encore!

[conniemaheswaran]

I'll keep you apprised. [Connie gives him a mock salute.] And see if I can bring back a souvenir or two for you guys. Hopefully it'll be terrible enough for Dirk to enjoy.

[conniemaheswaran]

Here's hoping that they won't be terrifying mutated chimeras this time.

[Beg pardon?]

[amaure]

You have my gratitude—and his, I am sure. He certainly does love his atrocities, doesn't he?

[It's said with clear and obvious fondness. But after a moment, his eyebrows tick upward with a thought.]

—Ah! Little would I ask you another favor in such succession, but I do have a scheme that has been rattling around inside of my head for a while now, and your newly begotten companion may yet be a key component in assisting me. I would not ask that you be separated from her so soon after obtaining her, but say, after your trip to Sinnoh, would you be against the possibility of lending her to me?

I would breed her with my Yamask—well, more a close friend of mine who is a breeder shall. If you wish to know the finer details of the scheme, I shall be glad to share them, but either way your Palossand will be in good hands.

[conniemaheswaran]

Gotcha! I'll be happy to lend Marie out to you. Good luck on getting a shiny.

[asmywitness]

[Luckily he's already met Piltdown.]

What, you mean you're unhappy with your unholy abomination in the eyes of God? I'm shocked, Connie, that you'd be so cruel to something that just wants to live.

[...........or least he sure hopes they do.]

[conniemaheswaran]

I ended up anonymously and through multiple intermediaries giving it to a random guy who expressed his love for dinosaurs on the network so it couldn't be traced back to me just in case somebody found the connection between Liss and the museum heist.

Also, I couldn't bear to keep the thing.

[Connie shivers.]

I looked into its eyes and saw nothing but pain, Tyler.

[asmywitness]

[Yeah that knocks Tyler's smile off his face a little. And for a moment his eyes just look very old.]

Yeah, I've seen that before as well. Wasn't a great look on him.

[--and that's all the angsty asides you get because he's rallying forward with another, slightly more obviously feigned smile.]

But hey, maybe we can find something a bit sturdier for you two. My Aerodactyl is ridiculous, he came out of the fossil with all the elemental fang attacks. Plus, flyer, always useful.

[amaure]

'Tis for more than merely that, but you have my gratitude all the same. Should there be aught you wish to take from the lot, all you must needs do is say so, and it shall be yours.

[conniemaheswaran]

I'm hoping for a Tyrantrum, honestly. I'm a sucker for Dragon-types, and c'mon. It's a T-rex. How could I resist?

[asmywitness]

If there was a stegosaurus Pokemon I'd probably want that. But Tyrantrum sounds fucking radical, T-rex were always a solid third for me.