Dirk Strider (Ultimate) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uber_marionettist) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
silph_co2020-02-02 11:40 pm
uber_marionettist) wrote in silph_co2020-02-02 11:40 pm
(no subject)
[[Dirk is making a rare video post, partially because he's just completed work on some kind of... something... albeit a something slightly more anime looking and triangular than you're probably picturing it right now. He's wearing it, too. Which is definitely a choice of some kind. There's a lot that's unclear here in the first seconds before he opens his fucking mouth and finally says something.]]
Don't say it.
I'm fully aware of how this looks.
It's a working prototype, it's going to be ugly. Emphasis here on 'working.'
Speaking of working, there's a museum of natural history in Pewter City. I know a thing or two about stealing from those, but I'm going to need hands for that. More than two or four.
[I don't give Carly a literal nod, but I think the figurative one is reasonably well deserved.]
That heist at the Safari Zone was a pretty crude affair--the mechanical equivalent of an unbaited box trap set with a stick and string, or a block of dry ice and a spring-loaded hammer. Frankly, I was really riding roughshod over reality back there, just trampling all over the flimsy fantasy figures of this featured fiction. I'm almost embarrassed about how shoddy my shit was.
Not this time.
[Now that I'm watching a screen, I can tell that having a 360+ view of my surroundings is going to take some adjustment. It's fine if I'm standing still, better if the cameras didn't have to constantly reposition and correct to cover any blind spots, but directional movement of any kind is going to be a real trip.
I intend that not be a literal one.]
I am back on my mastercrafted, flawlessly-tuned automechanical game. I'm operating with nanometric precision.
Which means I'm gonna need a count of heads before I can assemble this thing. You know, so I can allocate those heads to slot into the necessary moving parts.
Don't say it.
I'm fully aware of how this looks.
It's a working prototype, it's going to be ugly. Emphasis here on 'working.'
Speaking of working, there's a museum of natural history in Pewter City. I know a thing or two about stealing from those, but I'm going to need hands for that. More than two or four.
[I don't give Carly a literal nod, but I think the figurative one is reasonably well deserved.]
That heist at the Safari Zone was a pretty crude affair--the mechanical equivalent of an unbaited box trap set with a stick and string, or a block of dry ice and a spring-loaded hammer. Frankly, I was really riding roughshod over reality back there, just trampling all over the flimsy fantasy figures of this featured fiction. I'm almost embarrassed about how shoddy my shit was.
Not this time.
[Now that I'm watching a screen, I can tell that having a 360+ view of my surroundings is going to take some adjustment. It's fine if I'm standing still, better if the cameras didn't have to constantly reposition and correct to cover any blind spots, but directional movement of any kind is going to be a real trip.
I intend that not be a literal one.]
I am back on my mastercrafted, flawlessly-tuned automechanical game. I'm operating with nanometric precision.
Which means I'm gonna need a count of heads before I can assemble this thing. You know, so I can allocate those heads to slot into the necessary moving parts.
VIDEO
If I ask what that thing does, will you tell me what it's doing right now?
Also what are we targeting from the museum? I'm...assuming nothing on display at least...That'd be way too tricky...and bold...for little...
video;
I don't know. I kind of like it.
[Steve's future science fair project is a traffic cone he passes off as a volcano, so that's not exactly high praise. But hey. A compliment from Steve? Take it while you can get it.]
Where's Pewter? I've never even heard of that place, and I've been pretty much all over Johto.
VIDEO
You know what? Why not. Jack is probably going to get on my ass [congratulations dirk thanks to you connie freely swears now] if I don't start doing these kinds of things, and I might as well start now.
Also? Sick specs.
no subject
Right now, I have a slightly-better-than 360 degree view of my room. That includes the screen I'm using to speak to you.
It actually does more than that, but it looks like you're not a Pokemon and the Pokedex has nothing useful to say about you.
[She can probably see the cameras adjusting back and forth and up and down in short little movements, automatically making micro-corrections every couple of seconds to maintain the best and most complete picture possible.]
As for the second question, we're not taking anything out on display. I have done that before and I'll tell you right now it ain't worth it. Huge pain in the ass. No, there's no need for that kind of risk. Museums have archives and storage, catalogues of specimens just gathering dust by the dozens in temperature-controlled basement drawers.
That's what we're hitting.
no subject
Not Johto. Kanto.
Do you not have a fucking map? Does Team Rocket not give you those? They just turn you lose into the unsuspecting civilian population like feral fucking animals?
...
Actually, that sounds completely plausible. Fuck it. Okay. Step one: get a map. Step two, look at the fucking thing.
There's an entire second half of this continent. That's a whopping 50% more cartographically rendered geography for your boonbuck.
And even that's not entirely accurate because there's definitely more of the continent to the north, but that's not important right now. It's all terra ignota.
no subject
That's a lot of vi-] How can you be slightly better than a full 360....
Uhh, alright though... Anyway good to hear we're not doing the stupid thing! I can definitely provide plenty of help for that! [About half a second after this she realizes she's just signed herself up. Ah damn.]
no subject
[Simple positive reinforcement. Works wonders.]
--and I meant 360 degrees as in the complete visual radius on a horizontal axis, but we don't live on a two-dimensional plane.
I don't have a perfect outward-facing field of vision, but after three cameras, things start getting kind of crowded. And on a practical level, I don't need it. Not unless I'm underwater or in the air, neither of which are going to happen on this mission.
Or if they do, we got bigger problems than my visual radius.
no subject
[Dirk you need more than that to win her over. You didn't even win her over with that ever.] I guess we're going to have to do some recon though huh... ...hey wait can any of us even access Pewter yet?! I mean I guess Jack probably can...
CW Doc Scratch, and Connotations
What.
A bike helmet... how old is she?
Is she--fuck, she's a teenager, right? Like eighteen. Not that I'm interested in that way, I mean. Obviously I'm not. Hard no. But there are certain connotations to be avoided. Reputations and proclivities, historically known and well recorded, for girls of a certain age and stature.
Not that way. But definitely like that. In a three foot tall, agelessly handsome and omnisciently witty, cueball-headed being who lacks any kind of genitalia kind of way.
Yeah. Uh.
It's complicated, is what I'm saying. But the connotations are there.]
Uh. How old are you?
no subject
Hence all my comments about how I would rather be in school than doing dirty work for a criminal organization from a children's cartoon.
Did... did you assume I was talking about college or something?
no subject
Sure, let's say that.
Anyway. I might have something for you to do. Might have to pair you up with someone else... actually, yeah. You two can babysit each other, it's perfect.
no subject
Steve. You're talking about Steve, aren't you.
no subject
Good, because I didn't want to have to do introductions.
Think of it as a skills test.
Either you'll figure it out and everything will be fine, or you won't and we'll all end up in prison. Either/or.
I'm kind of hoping for the first one, personally, but it really doesn't matter.
no subject
I just skipped the boat part while it was within my power to do so.
[Never again.]
Anyway, I've gone over the rolls, and the only one who should have any trouble is Connie, but if I can get Steve to cooperate with me, she should be fine.
no subject
...Connie? Why's Connie an issue??
And well, I should be at Fuschia in... [...She gives an estimate.]
...so I should be able to use the warps...I'll just make an excuse about checking my 'apartment', honestly.
But seriously why's Connie an issue, she's one of the smartest in the bunch we've got!
[And she's not just comparing the kid to Steve here, trust her Dirk.]
no subject
...still, lugging around that big palooka is going to be a pain. You'll owe me for this.
no subject
And I have the strength, the iron discipline and practised hand to back it up. But if this world has gods at all, they aren't interested in any of that. They're hanging out in little red and white balls and use humans to shape the world as only humans, apparently, can.
'Smart' isn't good enough.]
Because she's also the newest one, and the shortcut between Vermillion and Pewter is a tunnel complex inhabited entirely by angry little whack-a-moles?
Unless she speaks Mole Person, she's going to need a little more brawn to go with those brains.
[I shut up for a second, letting that hit before I close my point. Get it all tied up in a neat little bow.]
And if the moles can run her over like a rototiller, then the cops definitely can.
no subject
Then.........lend her a pokemon....
[It's so obvious Dirk. Why. Why didn't you think of this?]
She's experienced enough with pokemon who know what they're doing you know! I've had Misty keep her company for a huge chunk of her time here in Kanto so she wouldn't freeze!
no subject
If anything, you owe me for thinking of it. I'll put it on your tab.
no subject
[He just doesn't pay all that much attention to it. How does he avoid getting lost? Let's just thank his Pokémon for that one.]
I know there's a second part to it. Duh. I'm going there as soon as I get all my badges here.