silph_co | Voice

[Good thing technology isn't unheard of in Phandalin, huh? But it's... been a week and she's been through the whole song and dance and is just going to be an absolute asshole about this now that she's really allowed to.]

Anyone else get the feeling that the kinds of people they must have dealt with before you had to have been absolutely braindead to need as much training as they offered? Goodness me, not that I'm saying any of you are or were that braindead, but it certainly seems to be who they thought they would attract the most attention from.

Which reminds me, what the hell is the point of all this nonsense? I get it, steal Pokemon or whatever, but for... what? Is it just some kind of weird power grab or is there some ulterior motive that those of us on the bottom rung aren't privy to? Because I honestly don't appreciate things being hidden from me.

Also~ Steven, I believe it was? If you're hearing this, darling, I would gladly take you up on that offer if you're still extending that particular branch. I'm sure I'm easy enough to find, what with still having a particular feature of mine being rather striking compared to the others here.

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Welcome to Team Rocket, where nothing make sense and the crimes don't matter.

I'm Connie, one of the other "imported" recruits. Welcome aboard.

No. None of us know the friggin end game here. The mission statement is gibberish, this whole organization is brain damaged. So you see why training is what it is.

Trust me, I'm not on the bottom rung. There's no grand scheme behind this. It's like we exist just to give the stepford cops something to do.

And what was it Steven offered you?

Asking as his boyfriend, not his boss.

I'm both.

You know, if I was going to be brought back from a... second... death, then I would think it would be for a better reason than this. Most of these "trainings" are things I did when I was barely a teenager. [She sounds far too much like a crochety old woman than anything else, not that she is by technicality.]

Lydia.

I take it this nonsense doesn't get any better from here?

[Oh boy, at least she's humoring this video nonsense and there's a zorua perched on her shoulder and a vulpix in her lap. At least she's humoring this rocket uniform even if she's mostly curled up in an old tattered and dirty looking hooded cloak.

What even, Lydia.]

Do the punishments for the crimes they expect of us to do just as ridiculous and frivolous? I get the point is to not get caught, but let's just say someone just goes above and beyond and ends up getting caught.

Humor me on that.

[She's just giving a pleasant smile to change away from her exhausted appearance previously.]

He said something about after training being able to put me into contact with someone named Jack to "better use my talents", as it were?

Let me take a wild guess, that's you?

I mean...don't get caught because then your cover's blown. But no, you get community service or a week or two in jail. Which is shiny happy jail.

That'd be me! I'm the Alpha around here, and that makes me your direct superior. Don't worry, I'm not an idiot like the people who run this aimless excuse for a ship.

I'm president of a galactic empire, so....I know my shit.

Shiny. Happy jail. I'm sure it's far more pleasant than the Eternal Stockade could ever hope to be. The more I hear, the more ridiculous this all becomes.

Then you're certainly not from around here, I suppose I can respect that much. Which is far more than can be said of the idiots I had to deal with for the last week.

[She's just sighing and leaning back in her chair, one hand absently checking an ear tip with a small frown. She really, really is a not a fan of the changes she's ended up here with.]

And I was one of the proprietors of a little place called Wonderland. Or, more accurately, something of a trap to make people suffer. For fun, profit, and to feed. So you know, a pleasant place.

Not at all. Basically the only reason we stay here is that it's actually an okay job as long as you turn in a Pokémon every two weeks. Insurance, a place to stay, decent pay, opportunities for advancement... It's just super inconvenient if you try to abandon the organization.

Let me guess, they try to hunt you down and harass you until you go back? Because that's the most basic shit I have ever heard.

God, it's like I'm back in that circle all over again and yet these people are still somehow stupider than those imbeciles were.

I guess I'll just have to show them how much I don't appreciate idiots in the future~ [NO.]

No. They just tip the Jenny hivemind off that you were a Rocket. The community service is supposed to be pretty light, but the main deterrent is that you're basically a pariah for the rest of your life and can't find work or housing anywhere. Or so I've heard.

So they rat you out to the cops instead.

Basic.

Supporting my decision of how to proceed from here, I guess we'll see what happens, huh?~ [This is going to go poorly for literally everyone involved later down the line.]

If you're thinking of trying to take the organization down, I'd suggest talking to Handsome Jack. He's putting something together.

Oh believe me, he's already on my list of people I need to speak to~

But thank you for more information on that.

Jack. She's a woman.

Holy crap, is she?!?!

Yeah. I know.

Chill, babe, I didn't assume anything weird was going on.

It's clean! And I hear they feed you!

Yeah, no, not from around here. Nobody on this comm channel is.

Neat!

Can't say! That I'm real fucking keen! On having to remember how a goddamned living body works! Or being without my damn magic! This place is absolute shit, I hope you know.

This a whole situation, then? The being pulled from death or something and being brought to this place to suffer through absolute stupidity? Because, wow, that's more of a dick move than I would have forced on someone.

Oh thank God.

But yeah, this is the necromancer I told you about the other night. I think she'll be an interesting addition to the whole crew.

Right, Lydia. Good to hear from you again. I'm definitely still extending the branch and I see you're already talking to Jack.

We'll need a full accounting of your skillset, first. You can do it here over the gear or if you'd rather, we can meet for lunch and I'll take notes.

Edited 2020-03-02 04:18 (UTC)

Something of that sort, yes. Quite a... conversation, I suppose.

Whichever is better for you, honestly, it's not as if I'm doing anything particularly interesting right now. And, perhaps, it would be for the better in person and not where literally everyone can see this, hm?

Will a quiet corner of the mess hall in the off-hours do or should I arrange to bring something so we can do the interview in your room?

That should be ideal, I think~

Just don't want this somewhere where someone can look back on it later or record it. You know, you have to be careful, darling.

Well, of course.

I'll be over around noon tomorrow.

[At least Lydia is true to her word about showing up somewhere and at an appropriate time. She's still curled up in a particularly tattered, slightly dirty, and well worn black hooded cloak, but at least the hood is down and no one really seems to be giving her anything more than a cursory glance.

With her is her zorua who is happily perched on her shoulder somehow and the tiniest of vulpixes prancing along after her.

What a scene. Luckily she's quick to find a seat in the designated corner.]

Well ya better get used to it, champ, that's how this world works. Accept the things we can't change and all that shit.

It's a big thing, but it's not like it's the people running Rocket doing it. I've got it on good authority it's a magic space llama. Do what ya want with that news.

Come on, I know which direction your dick goes.

Oh yeah. That one. Cool!

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