silph_co | video + secret text message

[It's evening when Steven posts his message on the private import Rocket channel of the pokegear. He's still in his work clothes, although his tie has been loosened and his top-buttons unbuttoned. He's sitting at what most of the more experienced Rockets will recognize as Jack's kitchen table

There's cooking sounds in the background, although the camera and Steven are positioned so that you can't actually see who's cooking.

There's also a trio of eggs by him.

As Steven starts talking, he'll also be signing his words concurrently, because he's not leaving you out, Tyler.]

Right. I've got a couple things I wanted to talk to people about.

First of all, as you can see, the mysterious production of eggs has again happened at our house. I found these in Conchita's stall when I went to visit her this morning. I can only conclude that the father is one of the Rapidash--which means that whatever's inside is either going to be a Mudbray or a Ponyta of some variety, either of which will grow up to be a good riding pokemon.

[Actually, they're all three Mudbrays, thanks rng, with the starting moveset of: Mud-Slap, Rock Smash, Stomp, Double-Edge, and Toxic.]

Osomatsu, Diego, since you're the two newest on the Team, I thought I'd give you each the right of first refusal with two of them, but that still leaves at least one more that's up for grabs for anyone. If nobody wants them, I'll save them for trading later.

Secondly... [and here he looks somewhat chagrined] I don't know how many of you are familiar with Sento Kiryuu, self-proclaimed genius physicist--he's the one who doesn't think Pokeballs are flashy enough--but the man caught me in the process of looting some unconscious marks in Violet this weekend, so we all might want to lie low when it comes to crime in that particular city for the next little while. Luckily I was wearing my gas mask and I teleported away as soon as he walked in on my little mugging, so he shouldn't be able to identify me, but all the same: be careful in Violet.

Thirdly and lastly, you might have heard me talking a little about an upcoming large-scale heist that I've begun planning. I don't know how many of you have been to Blackthorn yet, but there's a mine there. A mine that produces evolution stones in all different rarities.

We're going to steal them.

Obviously, the more people who come on the heist, the more we'll be able to bring back, so I've decided to open it to everyone on the Team who wants to come. Don't worry if you've got lower-level pokemon--my plan's got roles for all experience levels.

Now, I can't make a lot of promises on rewards, but if we pull this off, the admins are likely to be decently generous and I wouldn't be surprised if among everything else we earn, we all can keep a stone or two. But again, no promises.

Anyway. Since I'm hoping to invite everyone, that means doing this when everyone can make it. I know people have things like Victory Road and heists of their own upcoming, so I thought if we scheduled it for the end of August or beginning of September, that would give everyone enough time to clear their calendars. Let me know when's good for everyone.

[The video switches off.

HOWEVER, the following text message will pop up on everyone but Jack's pokegears a little after Steven finishes his video message.]

Hey. So. I wasn't going to talk about this where he could overhear it, but this upcoming Thursday, July 23rd, is going to be Handsome Jack's 55th birthday. Obviously, I've already got some things planned for the two of us for that day, but if any of you want to wish him "Happy Birthday" over the pokegear, I'm sure he'd appreciate it. (If it matters, he prefers chocolate cake.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Honestly, there's some dry amusement of his own in his reply.] We have two very different styles of crime, yes.

[Also,]

Human lifespans are dependent on a lot of things, like technology level. So that would be old as fuck where you come from, but merely getting up there where I'm from and right in the prime of middle age where *Jack* is from.

I'd say mine's a little more effective~ [Don't do this here in public, Lydia, god.]

Hey, hey you don't know shit about where I'm from. Technology isn't in the stone ages or something, god. Either way, gross.

[Oh Lydia.] Yours is heavily dependent on fleecing gullible old straight men, Lydia. I'm the wrong sex for that.

Okay, you're right, I don't. I was just assuming that you were accurate about human lifespans in your world.

You say that like there aren't gullible old gay or bisexual men out there, Steven. You just have to know where to look.

It depends on what the human does, I guess. Adventurers obviously have a shorter lifespan than, say, an inn keeper or a trade worker.

I know, but I wouldn't get to use Night Shade to hide my presence while Miasma gasses them and that's half the fun.

Besides, my way allows for multiple marks at once.

Makes sense to me. There's always the chance of dying in battle or getting eaten by monsters... or meeting you and Edward.

Fine, if you want to be boring, I suppose.

Edward and I never outright killed anyone, do remember~

I'm not sure how terrifying the hell out of people with mirages is boring, but okay.

Well yes, true, but I'm sure some of your games had their *side effects*.

Look at who you're talking to and get back to me with the answer.

Mmm. Death is always a possibility if you play it stupidly enough. But if you played how you were supposed to, meaning by the rules and what-not, then death had a very, very small probability chance.

There's no accounting for Boss Rush or Monster Factory, that's really just on them.

Touche.

Well, not having centuries of Wonderland behind me, it's still novel to me.

Right, sorry. I stand corrected.

(Makes sense. The longer they were around, the more time you have to get more of them.

I suppose. I also specialized in illusions, if you'll recall. [All old hat to her, oops.]

Things tended to scale at a certain point so if they were stupid enough to keep going... Then we couldn't be held responsible for if something bad happened to them.

Right. Well, I never did before and I've got reason enough to make a study of fear, so I'll just steal my way and leave the rich old men to you.

And occasionally Tyler.

Of course, of course. You warned them, after all.

Edited 2020-07-21 03:40 (UTC)

Primarily my gig, I'm not exactly an imposing figure even to old horny men.

Certainly did~

Only because they don't know you. Otherwise they'd be utterly terrified. [He sounds very fond, however.]

Not your fault if idiots don't listen.

Edited 2020-07-21 03:44 (UTC)

Even while I'm essentially neutered here, I suppose~ [Hey, she'll just bask in it for the time being.] But I vastly prefer to be underestimated, makes it so much easier to work with.

Don't we all?

And Lydia, please. What made you truly frightening wasn't your magic and you know it.

[Yes. Definitely fond notes in his voice there.]

Do tell, darling. I'm totally in the dark about what makes me so frightening. [She's fucking with him, but she's like a preening cat at this point.]

Oh Lydia, it's your mind, of course. Your wonderfully twisted, endlessly creative mind.

[And he's happy to indulge her.]

I suppose so~ I have had more than enough time to see a thing or two to... influence how my thoughts are. [Some of which she's not about to tell him, but whatever.]

Surprisingly, I wasn't always like this. But it seems to be more my calling, doesn't it?

[No, that's for Tyler. It's fine. He doesn't need to know everything.]

Nor was I, really. But I do understand being surprisingly suited for this.

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