Cybercrime, anyone?

[failgoyle]

Who: Jules Thibault and you!
Where: A common area in the Rocket base in Goldenrod
When: Not long after Jules posts this monstrosity to everyone.
Summary: Jules is new, Jules has questionable hobbies.
Rating: idk PG for now
Log:

Jules supposes he's settling in well enough. Word of the seven-foot-tall new guy who started screaming and shouting and ended up in the halls clad in only his boxers has probably spread--the beginnings of the usual level of auspiciousness Jules manages in his daily life.

At the moment, he's in a common area in the Rocket base in Goldenrod--because they're not going to turn him loose on his own just yet, unfortunately for everyone else in said base--and so he's trying to make himself at home. He's perched on the back of a sofa, sprawled out in a strange position, and poking at a stolen Pokegear he's gotten from some Rocket equipment or another and giggling to himself as he looks upon his terrible, terrible work.

What, they want him to steal, he's got to feel out the populace first.

Comments

[fingersandteeth]

"Oh, there you are," Steven says, with a sigh of relief. "I've been trying to get you on the pokegear, but you weren't responding, so I thought I'd head down here after my shift was over. I just wanted to let you know that I set up a tailor's house call for you with Garak, so that you'd have something to wear when you're not on the job."

He comes over to peer over Jule's shoulder at the screen. "Oh. That was you. Is that the kind of stuff you used to do before all this?"

[failgoyle]

Ah, clothes for Jules, the bane of many a tailor at the freehold. At least Garak wouldn't have to work around a tail or pathetically tiny wings. "Eh, I haven't run a scheme like this since I was eleven." Jules shrugs. "Usually when I steal info, it's much more subtle." He chuckles. "But, you know, I just wanted to see if anyone was actually dumb enough to fall for it."

[fingersandteeth]

"Eleven," Steven repeats, impressed. He steps back to pull up the same post on his own pokegear and makes a thoughtful hum.

"I'm not surprised the bard, Johann, knows something's up," he says after a moment. "I'm not sure if Mr Universe does but is being too polite to say so—or if he's just being practical about the problem as presented. The third one is the guy I warned you about, the one who's uncomfortably close to a True Fae in mindset. He's definitely screwing with you. And poor London under him is actually snookered in, I'm afraid. She's a sweet girl but rather credulous, sadly."

[failgoyle]

Jules visibly pales and makes a little whimpering noise at being told he's talking to the one that's uncomfortably close to a True Fae. He clears his throat a bit and marks something off on that one. "Thanks for the info...and look, this kid's about to learn some lessons about credulity unless we got a rule against that." Stealing is fine, so long as he doesn't have to meet with any consequences for it...and really, the consequences for not stealing are there too. When in Rome...

[fingersandteeth]

"I mean, she is your co-worker," Steven points out, his voice perfectly friendly, concealing any sadistic amusement he might be getting from observing Jules in his current pickle. "So's the one you're talking to that posted right underneath her, Steve Palchuck. Actually, Steve P outranks you."

[failgoyle]

"How cutthroat are things usually around here?" Jules asks while trying to look innocent as he types on the stolen Pokegear. "Like...compared to Court bullshit."

[fingersandteeth]

"I mean, Steve P got his promotion after punching a Pokemon league champion hard enough to give him both a black eye and a concussion," Steven says with a shrug.

[failgoyle]

Jules pales even more. "Summer. Great." He sighs. "I meant like...um. Court...backstabbing. And, uh, stuff." Not that he has ever engaged in such behavior at all in his life ever and he's never done anything in his life wrong ever, of course, of course, ignore those prior felony convictions.

[fingersandteeth]

"Steve P is a bit too straightforward for that," Steven observes. "But 'Solus' plays nasty. I've been on his bad side and it's not anywhere you want to be."

[failgoyle]

Jules winces at the 'nasty.'"Good to know, yeah, on both counts." He gives a long-suffering sigh. "Is there anyone else around here who becomes unspeakably terrifying and needs to be watched out for?"

[fingersandteeth]

Steven thinks about this. "Well," he says. "I wouldn't cross Handsome Jack if I were you. He's fun and funny up to the moment he's not, if you know what I mean. Lydia also can get nasty when crossed. Honestly... most of us are perfectly fine until you cross us, at which point we'll happily come for your head. And Jules?" Here his voice is deceptively light. "There's a reason I'm Autumn."

[failgoyle]

There's a nervous sort of laugh. "Good to know, all of it, yep." He sighs. "There's a reason I made it out through two suddenly-deceased Winter monarchs in..." He thinks a moment on the timing of things. "Two weeks."

Did that sound airy and tough? Gosh, he hopes that sounded tough. It's definitely not a lie, at any rate, and he sounds almost embarrassed at it.

[fingersandteeth]

"Good at lying low?" Steven guesses, with a hint of irony. After all, it's what Winter is famous for.

[failgoyle]

"Something like that." Jules shrugs. Even if most days he honestly wonders even how he's still alive.

[fingersandteeth]

"Well. Given our current little vigilante problem, that's probably a good thing."

[failgoyle]

Jules can only stare at him. "...vigilante problem?" Why. Why this?

[fingersandteeth]

Steven sighs. "An idiot scientist by the name of Sento Kiryuu spotted one of us--technically me--leaving the scene of a mugging and now he's a self-proclaimed 'hero of justice' out to take down Team Rocket."

[failgoyle]

Jules just stares at him. "You...you're screwing with me, right?"

[fingersandteeth]

Steven shakes his head, then calls up the post in question on his pokegear. "Nope," he says, popping the 'P.'

[failgoyle]

Jules can only stare. "Man, y'all can deal with that, that's way above my pay grade."

[fingersandteeth]

"Believe me," Steven says under his breath. "We're trying."

[breakyourlife]

Steve doesn't actually look all that interested in talking as he approaches. He's paying more attention to his pokégear than the new arrival even as he comes to stop behind where he's perched on the couch. He has the distinct slump and tone of someone who's been told to do this once he does address him, still not really looking at him.

"Yo, so I guess you're the new guy?"

[failgoyle]

"Yeah," Jules says, looking up from his own Pokegear which is actually a stolen Pokegear he's running a certain email scam on, "I'm Jules."

He's also still sprawled all over the back of the couch like a weirdo who doesn't know how couches work.

[breakyourlife]

To a teenager the couch thing is honestly that weird. It's even cool. Kind of? Or would be if he wasn't so distracted.

"Steve. Palchuk," he introduces himself, tacking on the last name as an after thought. He's very different from the other Steven, but he guesses for a newbie that could be confusing.

"Steven D was saying something about cybercrime?"

Is there a touch of nervousness in his voice? Perhaps. He's definitely start to think he may have fucked up on his quest to riches.

[failgoyle]

"Ohhhhhh." Jules hopes that sudden jerk of acknowledgement didn't tip Steve off to anything weird. "He said something like you didn't have the faintest clue about it?" He sighs. "I mean, dude, there's so much you gotta watch out for, I just saw a scam out there on the network today."

[breakyourlife]

Lucky for Jules it does not. If anything he links it more to the other Steven apparently mentioning his slip up to him. His expression falls, hurt that he's been badmouthing him after claiming he (sometimes) likes him.

"Yeah, I... I caught that one, " he lies. Admittedly not that well. Even if he weren't talking to the man responsible for emptying out his account his 'oh shit' expression would give it away to anyone.

[failgoyle]

"Did you, then?" Jules asks innocently. "So you scrolled right past it, right?"

[breakyourlife]

No. No, he did not. Though he's guessing if this guy's such an expert that's what he was supposed to do.

"Not exactly," Steve answers slowly. What's a good excuse for answering? Think, Palchuk. Think! "I figured I'd set up a trap. You know. Teach that jerk not to commit crime on my turf. Because. You know. I'm the criminal here."

He's fairly sure that's a thing. He's seen mobster movies before.

[failgoyle]

"Uh-huh." If Jules looks unimpressed, that's because Jules knows exactly how successful Dr. Bobert Robertson was with this nefarious crime. "And how are you planning on doing that?"

[breakyourlife]

Steve stares at him. He looks pretty angry actually. Tense and frustrated. There's a good few moments there where he looks as though he just may punch him for that question.

Then it all seems to evaporate out of him with a sigh.

"I haven't figured that out yet," he answers begrudgingly. Of course, a big part of that is because that was never his plan in the first place. He just wanted to get in on a quick rich scheme that looks increasingly like it was never designed to benefit him in the first place.

[failgoyle]

Jules very visibly flinches--shit, did Steve really know after all, did Steven tell him--but breathes a sigh of relief when he is not (justifiably) punched. "I-if he got you, I can probably get it back."

[breakyourlife]

Luckily for Jules, Steven told him nothing. A brighter kid might have connected the dots by now, but then again, a brighter kid would probably not have been so easy to rob blind.

"You can?" He's not sure if he should confess. Owning up to it makes him look stupid. On the other hand...... he worked hard to get that cash, unlike the buttsnack who thought he could take it from him. "I mean.... the guy was pretty convincing. Right?"

Right??

[failgoyle]

Jules is well aware he'd used as stupid a setup as possible in order to filter out those who would be dumb enough to actually fall for it, but Jules is also extremely interested in not getting punched. "Yeah, he seemed like a professional who'd done this more than a few times." Which is actually the truth, really. Jules has done this more than a few times, and the answer sounds genuine. "But I guarantee I'm better."

[breakyourlife]

"And you won't tell anyone?"

Steve actually looks sincerely anxious about that. If Jules weren't so tall he might be tempted to threaten him into silence, but while Steve might like punching he doesn't like to be punched.

"I'm a private. It probably wouldn't look great if the other Rockets found out about this."

Not that a private is actually that high up. Steve just likes to believe that to make himself feel important.

[failgoyle]

"Oh, heck no." Jules shakes his head. "I won't tell a soul." Mostly because that is the easiest possible way to handle this. He keeps a small cut of the money, gives Steve most of the money back, and he comes out looking great to a very punchy sort of guy and does not get punched himself. It's the perfect plan.

[yay_heiress]

London had come downstairs at the behest of Steven to meet this Jewels guy who could supposedly help her get even more out of this cyberdeal. 35%? That's significantly less than 50%!

But when she reaches the common room, she can't help but be distracted by the ridiculously tall man in his boxers on the couch. She's mildly put off by his lack of clothing, if only for the fact that she has no idea what kind of dresser he is, but he is kinda cute.

She approaches without much of a poker face.

"I know the rocket uniforms are hideous, but you should probably wear... something."

[failgoyle]

Jules yelps in alarm, startled, falls off the back of the couch onto the part he really should have been sitting on in the first place, and grabs at the blanket he'd been wrapping himself in for the moment. "Look, it's really hard to find clothes that fit when you're my size, and there was a...coffee spill incident."

[yay_heiress]

"Is it?"

Being a dainty girl of 5'2", London has far more experience with clothes in her size being sold out as opposed to non-existent.

"You don't have an emergency coffee spill wardrobe?"

[failgoyle]

"Not many people are seven feet tall," Jules says with a dramatic sigh, "and so not many clothing manufacturers bother making clothes that fit people that tall. I gotta go to special stores back home, and I haven't been here long enough for Garak to make me much yet."

[yay_heiress]

London gives him a sympathetic look. To her, nothing's worse than not having any clothes.

"There has to be a special store around here somewhere, right?"

[failgoyle]

"I have no idea; I haven't found one, and they've just got that Garak guy making me some stuff." Jules shrugs. "So I gotta wait, I guess."

[yay_heiress]

London takes a seat next to him and smiles up at him. "I can help you look! That way you can wear something besides your Rocket uniform while you're waiting for Garak!"

She leans in, a seriousness in her tone. "Trust me, I know what it's like to wait for a designer's creative juices to start flowing again."

Fashion is very serious.

[failgoyle]

"Oh, really?" He seems surprised by that sudden enthusiasm, because clothes are not his thing and are just a thing you wear because people get upset if you're naked all the time. "That'd be great! I have the worst luck with clothes."

[yay_heiress]

"Perfect! And maybe you could help me with something, too! Do you know a guy named Jewels? There's some guy online named Bobert and Steven said this Jewels guy could help me milk 'im for all he's worth!"

Okay, so that's not exactly what Steven had said. But London likes to embellish a bit.

[failgoyle]

"Ah." Jules pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes like he's got a headache coming on. "That's. Uh. Probably me. I'm Jules. I'm a hacker." He sighs. "And you know that Bobert guy probably doesn't have anything to begin with, right? That's how those scams usually run."

[yay_heiress]

London looks affronted. It wasn't uncommon for people back home to lie to London in order to seem rich, but no one had ever offered to give her money they clearly didn't have.

"You mean he was lying all along? That little cheapskate!"