silph_co | RED ALERT [text]

RED ALERT [text]

Guys, I hate to bring down the mood, but we have a HUGE problem. Riku—you know, one of the very first trainers to arrive here, Aurora Leaguer, exceptionally powerful—that Riku apparently knows all about our operations in the Radio Tower. He's been keeping quiet about it, but with our increased activity and the organization of the Pokémon Guardian Corps there's a serious possibility he'll be conducting a raid in the future. He even mentioned it in a conversation with me, here's the proof.

[A video file containing a private conversation between Riku and Connie is attached.]

Everybody there, please please please PLEASE be careful (looking at you, Tio Steven) and see if you can't persuade the admins to move house or at least set up some countermeasures. This is bad news.

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[And he'll do his best to protect you if/when this all blows up on you.]

And there she flees, once again when she has clearly recognized she has fallen dramatically short when faced with her better. Small surprise, truly. Often do the wretched scurry and scatter when confronted with that which frightens them.

How very predictable, and as you named it, boring. Oh, well, cannot say I have ever expected much from you. Till next you crawl from your foul hole in the vain attempt to vie for my attention, I suppose.

[Tyler, you're honestly exceedingly easy to realize that.

To a real criminal, anyway.]

I suppose you could see it like that, but either way I doubt it'd be much of a problem. If the violence thing is correct, then there's little they could truly do to me that I haven't seen and experienced before.

And I guess? Whatever might be the better plan in this scenario, I know little about these creatures to begin with.

I'm already on it. I've got a notepad right here, and I'm jotting down all the details right now. I'll message ya later with a little synopsis and you can make sure that I haven't messed up anywhere, but the basics right now involve isolation and illusion.

Private...you really think they might? That'd be great! That's the goal!!! I'd like to try to make moves with everyone else's heists as well, but the more work-proof I get the better. I think. As long as I keep my wits about me.

Put in the work and they will in time. It's all just a matter of showing the admins that you're reliable, but also not afraid to take initiative.

Isolation and illusion are great tools. I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

worth it tho

ok yes that definitely sounds like a character builder

I am no good with swords but my best friend is real good at hitting things and so mostly I just kind of let her do all that stuff if need be but mostly I'm just there on the computer doing my thing

i mean I probably can't talk about bad habits, I'm teaching Python to play a midi of never gonna give you up so there is that

Python will probably learn something more useful here

They set up a trap that I was an idiot and fell for but on the bright side I learned from that and know what to look for now so i got better in the process

so there's no cybercrime jenny unit, good to know

that sounds good; I am still working out what my Porygon does and does not know how to do, we're doing rickrolls as a warmup

Hey, somebody needs to be the snarky hacker over the comms that computer-magics the doors open. It's a valuable job.

What are you talking about, introducing the wonderful world of Pokémon to Rickrolling is the most noble endeavor of all.

Look at you, already putting your insider knowledge to work.

[Private]

Seriously, though, I know how precarious your whole position could be there. There's a reason I specifically said you and Connie wouldn't be involved. At the very most, I'd let you know the date so you can be somewhere with a solid alibi.

I'm just doing my part.

[Private]

I know and I'm glad you're taking that into account. I kind of think what you're doing is a bit stupidly hotheaded and could end in disaster, but it's not a *guaranteed* disaster like the last crazy asshole stunt you pulled was and this time you're keeping me out of it instead of dragging me into it, so I figure I owe you one with this one. I'm not going to talk you out of it.

Just-- be fucking careful, okay? *I don't want to see you incarcerated*, holy fucking shit. Even if they only keep you in jail for a week for first offenses, going there in the first place is just-- the worst fucking thing they could *do* to you. It's fucking *psychological torture*.

I'm not a Darkling, Steven, I don't have any issue with small enclosed spaces. Mine was a forest and a very literal green room. And if the only punishment for a first offense is being put in time-out for a week, that's not even a slap on the wrist, that's just dumb.

And if all Team Rocket is remembered as by locals is a team of idiots with too much time and nefarious ideas, might as well play to type.

That's not a Darkling thing, Tyler. That's a *me* thing. And technically it's more of a 'please don't stick me underground with no lights on and no windows whatsover for long periods of time thing' than a small enclosed spaces thing.

... this is possibly also a Steven Spent Way More Of His Time At The Freehold Than Tyler thing, because... well, there's this whole attitude among our kind (at least at the San Diego freehold) that for one of us, death's a less cruel punishment than long term incarceration.

Not that a week is anything but short term.

And anyone less charitable would leave them utterly stranded. You discredit yourself, my dear.

Worry not, I know it is senseless to attempt to make aught that would be lethal. A waste of time and energy, I seek only to debilitate and capture with my machina. When all are immortal, one must be clever in their means to dispatch their foes, after all.

I shall look forward to your yield of Rotom if they are indeed skilled with complex machinery, it will certainly speed up the process of training them to properly utilize my magitek.

Well since death's off the table here, we're rather going to have to live with long term incarceration. I'd be more surprised it bothers you so much if you didn't mention that, though, I didn't realise you don't consider our entire existence here to be as much. The only difference between in there and out here is the square meterage.

Maybe I should, considering that stuck in another world and mostly confined to a single landmass, but I've had so much freedom here to remake my *life* that it doesn't really feel like being imprisoned. Not to mention that *here* I'm not trapped in the closet (which admittedly I did to *myself* back home for the sake of my career.)

that is all I ask, not going out to bash heads myself, I am not built for that, I don't think the Porygon is built for that, and I think the Scraggy is in for picking on something several times her size and getting her ass kicked at this rate

I can probably hack the jail to get access to get y'all out anyway so there is that

I'm also real good at fake IDs, hit me up if you ever need one of those

can't let my memes be dreams, gotta recreate the classics here so I can be properly amused when I hack things and leave behind calling cards

Now *that* would be useful. Think you could wipe their records of whichever one of us they arrested in the process?

like taking candy from a baby

*Excellent*.

(Please imagine me lacing my fingers together and saying that in my best Mr Burns voice.)

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