silph_co | [action - goldenrod base]

[action - goldenrod base]

[One of the interesting things about being a mercenary in a dangerous galaxy means that waking up in an unknown location with no clue how he got there? Not necessarily that new. Well. It also happens when he's had a fun night sometimes, but that generally means there's a hot blonde next to him or something.

But this whole... whatever it is, this is new. And he doesn't like it one bit. He also doesn't like that he doesn't have any of his gear. No armor, no guns, not even any of his knives. And no sword. No key.

Yeah, that doesn't put him in the greatest mood.

All this Rocket shit doesn't interest him one bit and, honestly, he's only half paying attention to all of this. Not his problem. Like any of these people can match the paycheck he was gonna get back home. No way. He needs to get far away from wherever the hell this planet is.

So. Anyone in the Goldenrod Rocket base might just spot Felix wandering around and... checking every supply closet, cabinet, and drawer he comes across. And every time, he looks disappointed at the contents. Next up is a hallway closet. He opens it up...]

Aaaaaand behind door number four is... another supply closet! Oh, good! I guess I'm all set if I need to mop something.

This is all just great.

[Frustrated, he slams the door shut. The sound travels through the halls, but he really doesn't give a shit right now.]

Seriously, where the fuck do these idiots keep the weapons?

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Weapons?

Why are you looking for weapons?

Only stupid, feeble humans need those. What are you, a little human baby?

_{[The smug-ass edgelord voice mocking Felix's Gun Quest (tm) is honestly obnoxious enough just from the words alone, but just to make things extra surreal, said voice is definitely the high-pitched squeak of an elementary-schooler.]

[Sure enough, looming overhead is... a ten-year-old of indeterminate gender perched on top of the shoulders of a Kangaskhan and smirking like they just delivered the sickest burn of the century.]}

Weapons. Pffahaha.

[...Felix just turns, slowly, at first convinced he can't actually be hearing what he thinks he's hearing. But no. The big creature is unexpected, but that is definitely a freaking kid.

It does make sense, those insults are absolutely at a kid's level. But then again, considering some of the grown adults he's met...

Either way, he just... tilts his head. Because really? Really?]

Really, you're asking if I'm the baby? Really, don't you have an adult who should be keeping an eye on you?

[He is kinda wondering what the fuck a kid is doing in what is clearly a criminal base, but also wow he doesn't wanna deal with this, so who cares, right?]

Seriously, kid, no one asked you.

_{[YES, FELIX. IT IS TRUE. The spirit of preteen mall goths is physically present and being a little bitch in your direction.]

[No one can claim Wolverine Jr. here doesn't uphold the Team Rocket aesthetic, though.]}

An adult? That's what Mama is here for.

_{[The Kangaskhan lets out an affirmative rumble.]}

And anyway, who were you asking then?

You were just looking into the closet and talking, and there's nobody else around.

That does, actually, stop him. Don't get him wrong, this whole operation is goddamn pathetic and he's not taking it seriously, but he is trying to play it safe here.

...Relatively. Relatively safe.

"Oh, so now you're just gonna... Yeah, no, that's fine! God, you're a dick." And here he was, on his best behavior. "Ugh, god, I can't believe I found someone worse than Locus."

[Felix just looks at the Kangaskhan for a moment.]

...Yeah, really not what I meant, junior.

[God. Okay. So now he's gotta deal with this. This day just keeps on getting better and better.]

Oh, see, the answer to that is simple. I was talking to "business". First name "none of your".

Christ, what kind of a criminal organization has kids running around the place?

Oh no. Chaos is not taking that tone to the trainer of her pride, snarling and clawing the ground. Walter gave him a look. He had told him he was going to work, and now he's being upset that he's...going to work. Noticing the look on Chaos' face, he nodded to her. He's had enough of this.

"Chaos, escort him...elsewhere."

As the Luxio pawed towards him, static danced over her fur. She grinned, sharp teeth on full display as she got ready to chase him. He'd only get a two second headstart before she gave a roar and charged after him, electricity cloaking her body as she rammed her body into him, shocking him in a Spark attack.

Edited 2016-10-24 23:45 (UTC)

[Alas, the vacuum's trajectory isn't quite as clear-cut this time around. It does an admirable job of feinting and swerving in the tight quarters, making one false pass, and then another. But just as it's about to go in a third time, for real—]

Ah, Eclair! There you are!

[—the voice of a young girl sounds over the din of the vacuum's motor. Almost comically, the vacuum stutters to a stop, and then it just kind of...flops over, something orange and sparkly ejecting itself from somewhere inside it.

That something zigzags a path to the speaker, coming to a sharp stop above her cupped hands. It's only then that she looks up, her eyes following the path to the vacuum cleaner, and then to Felix.]

Oh! I'm sorry, was he bothering you?

_{[Wrath pauses, visibly turning that name over in his mind. His main thought? That he doesn't know any Rocket named Nonovyor Bisness.]

[Wrath and snarky puns are not really compatible at this point.]

[He does, however, know enough to take offense at the rhetorical question that follows, and he sniffs haughtily.]}

I'm as good a Rocket as anyone! I am loyal and can fit into small spaces, like vents and washing machines. It's a unique talent.

_{[AKA that is what an Admin said, dubiously, while filling out his last evaluation, and he took it to heart.]}

What do you bring to the table?

_{[WEAPONS? Oh wait they're not allowed to have those.]}

Considering what I've seen of these Rockets so far? That's really nothing to brag about. But hey, good job buddy, you've found yourself a niche. I'm sure you're a valued member.

[There are so many things wrong with this. Just... so many, he doesn't even know where to start.]

See, here's the thing? I'm not interested in bringing anything to this particular table.

I'm already bringing plenty to a whole different table, thanks.

[Felix whips around immediately at the sound of the voice. And then he just watches silently as the orange thing flies out and heads... for a young girl.

...What.]

Uh.

[It's not often that Felix is speechless, but wow, here's a rare moment. Give him a second, he almost has his composure back. Almost.. Alllllmost...]

And this would be... your vacuum... possessing... something?

[What the actual fuck is today.]

Mm, that's right! His name is Eclair.

[She replies with a cheeriness that doesn't quite fit the situation, given the harassment her vacuum-possessing something put Felix through not two minutes earlier. For its part, Eclair spins around where it floats above Manaka's hands, a cheeky grin stretched across its little face as it giggles in Felix's direction.]

You must be new! [That's what she assumes, anyway, given the way he refers to Eclair.] I haven't been here for as long as some people, but... Do you need any help, Mister?

Eclair. [He takes a deep breath for a moment, letting that sink in. The weird monster that just assaulted him with a vacuum has a cutesy dessert name.] ...Because of course it is. Okay.

[He really likes to think he's good at adapting to new situations, but this is really pushing it. It's like the universe is testing him. Honestly, the fact that he's still so baffled is probably the only thing preventing him from being more angry at that floating little motherfucker.]

Very new. Aaaaand not very interested in extending my stay here, especially after that. So maybe you can help me.

Like, say, by telling me where the nearest space port is. That would just make my day.

The problem isn't with where you're going, Walter, it's with you ignoring him and thinking you can just--

Wait, what was that just now?

Felix gets to think about it for all of a moment before suddenly that weird fucking cat is heading right for him. So that's happening now, because why not? It doesn't seem like much of a threat... until she rams into him. And then he feels the electricity.

"Son of a--!"

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the f-- Okay no. No, this is not happening. This is clearly not the reason they gave him his own weird animals, but he's using them. Quickly he takes out one of his pokeballs and--

...throws it at the Luxio's head. What? That's how you use these, right? Nevermind that it'll probably just bounce off and hit the floor. Or miss her completely and hit the floor anyway. The important result is that there's now a big ol' snake with a knife for a tail there. Maybe the cat will focus on that instead or something, who the fuck even knows.

Chaos looked between the Seviper and Felix. Unfortunately for Felix, Walter trained his Pokemon very frequently. Chaos knew the snake was weaker than her and would be more than happy to 'deal' with it before turning back on it's trainer, giving the Seviper a toothy grin.

"Leave." Walter advised from behind Chaos. "I don't want to battle. I want to be left alone."

There isn't one.

[The answer is surprising blunt, considering that the sunniness of her demeanor doesn't falter at all.]

Sorry, but you're stuck here for now. So if you need any help settling in, go ahead and ask me!

"Oh, you don't? You know, it was really hard to tell, since you're the one who sicced his freaking murdercat on me."

Seriously escalating the whole thing. Come on, man, that's not... that's not how these things should work, ugh.

"I was already just about to leave you alone before that. So really, who's the one making things difficult here?"

"Leave." Walter refused to be drawn into a conversation. Chaos shook herself over, sparks flying from her fur and readying another attack. She glanced back and Walter held up a finger. If he had to request again, then she may have her fun.

She hoped this guy stuck around, so she could beat up his snake and then run him out.

...What.

[The bluntness is fine, honestly. He'd probably react the same no matter how gently she broke the news. At least direct cuts out all the bullshit.

Except wow no, that's not the answer he wanted.]

There's not-- Okay. Okay, you're telling me there's really no way off this planet? None.

You're not just bullshitting me, right? Because I'm not in the mood for that.

"Yeah, yeah, relax, would you? Was just getting to that. Not like I don't have better things to do myself, sheesh."

He does take a moment to really obviously roll his eyes. But then he just pats the side of his Seviper's... sort of neck area, look it's a fucking snake, okay. But the message has been received and the Seviper will just follow after Felix as he walks away.

Mm-hm, that's right! Besides, even if there were spaceships, I doubt one could take you wherever it is you want to go. If there's space travel where you come from, you must have some understanding of parallel universes, right?

[It would be so easy to call bullshit on that. Hell, he's about to. But he stops and considers it for a moment. Parallel universes.

...Goddammit, if it turns out that one of those stupid alien temples had something to do with this...]

Oh, you've gotta be... [He breathes in deeply for a moment. Well. Now he has to deal with this. Command is just gonna be so happy about all of this.] Well. This fucking sucks.

Chaos watched him go, tail swishing from side to side. Aww. She had hoped he would continue to push, just so she would have permission to try and Bite him. She trotted back to Walter when called, accepting the gentle petting and praise.

Walter was merely glad to see him leave. The children following him was strange, but harmless, enough. He didn't need adults following him as well. He walked into the labs with Chaos, swiping his ID card as he went in.

"Kidding me"? [She finishes the sentence for him, then shrugs a shoulder. Despite her ostensible sympathy, she doesn't seem especially fussed...] Mm, unfortunately not. But there are worse places you could have wound up, so try to think of it like a vacation!

Do you know what building you're in?

[You know. Just checking to see if he's got the basics down already.]

[Another deep breath. Okay. Okay, this is kind of the fucking worst, but... He'll scream about it later, when he's alone. Now it's time to think about things, Felix.]

Trust me, the planet I was on before was shitty enough that just about anywhere is a step up.

[...And okay, maybe Chorus sucking so much was at least slightly his fault, but. The edge of colonized space. It's the worst.]

Oh, what, the whole criminal headquarters thing? Yeah, I got that.

Not exactly the most impressive place, is it?

Oh, I see.

_{[Wrath tosses his head with an infuriating "knowing" smile on his wolfish little face.]}

Well, I used to be with a different team too.

But Team Rocket is much better.

Here, you get paid, and also given food and a place to sleep.

It's pretty great!

_{[Yes, he IS trying to sell this organization based entirely on the fact that they provide completely basic necessities. To be fair, he literally doesn't know any better.]}

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[action - goldenrod base]

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