Handsome Jack - Hero of Pandora (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thedifferencebetween) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
silph_co2016-06-07 05:24 pm
thedifferencebetween) wrote in silph_co2016-06-07 05:24 pm
[Action]/[Goldenrod Base]
[....the flying fuck?]
[Nevermind some shitty college, as Jack had first likened the facility he's found himself in, this is clearly some low budget private army operation. Or a cult. He's not about to rule out cult. Matching uniforms, drab bunker, loudspeakers blasting orders and reminders... definitely one or the other.]
[None of this makes any kind of sense. Oh, he's got the gist of it, but that doesn't mean it makes any sense. How he got here, who brought him here, how they put him back together. None of the pieces make any picture all together.]
[He doesn't even know what back water, far flung, piece of shit planet he's on. He's never heard of it. Serious boonies, though, no one here seems to have any idea who he is. Which is just insane. He's god damned Handsome Jack, practically king of the freaking galaxy. Everybody knows who he is. Even blind deaf mutes in caves know who he is.]
[It's a hell of a state to be in. On the one hand, he isn't dying in some shithole. On the other....he's here. He's got nothing. Nothing of any use, anyway. The bag of crap at the foot of his bed wasn't his. He has his watch, his wallet, and the battered old photo that he's never taken out of his inside pocket until today. His gun is gone, his knives are gone. Hell, his empire may as well be gone for all the good it does him right now.]
[What's even happening back at Hyperion? It's not like there's anyone who could possibly run the company in his absence. Sure, they can try, but good luck getting into all of his files. Thinking about the security measures he has installed brings a dark chuckle. His office is going to smell like burning guts and hair by the time he gets back.
[And Hyperion itself...holy fuck, it's bound to be a shit show. Idiots running around without any idea where the money is, killing each other off in a panic and hoping they got to sit in the big chair and wear the big boots. At least that means he has time to gather his resources, use what he can from this place and get home.]
[Because clearly this place has something useful. He's not dead. He's fine. He'd taken a hell of a beating at the hands of those murdering bandits, but he'd never know it now. That is something that intrigues him. Hyperion regen tech is only so good.]
[Now he just has to find his way out of this sad little excuse for a base. What the fuck kind of name is 'Team Rocket', anyway? Nothing here has anything to do with space travel or rocket launchers. Talk about a bait and switch.]
[He stalks into the halls like he owns the place, paying attention to the announcements but taking no personal interest. He won't wear that tacky uniform that was laid out for him. He's in his suit, the old photo tucked back against his chest and feeling like a weight. He's not unaware of the implications of his situation, but he'll dwell on that later.]
[A Meowth is scampering along at his feet. Jack does his best to ignore it. At least the bag of garbage someone had the lack of brain-cells to animate had stayed in his room. Someone should have flushed that thing down the toilet the second it came out of it's test tube.]
[Nevermind some shitty college, as Jack had first likened the facility he's found himself in, this is clearly some low budget private army operation. Or a cult. He's not about to rule out cult. Matching uniforms, drab bunker, loudspeakers blasting orders and reminders... definitely one or the other.]
[None of this makes any kind of sense. Oh, he's got the gist of it, but that doesn't mean it makes any sense. How he got here, who brought him here, how they put him back together. None of the pieces make any picture all together.]
[He doesn't even know what back water, far flung, piece of shit planet he's on. He's never heard of it. Serious boonies, though, no one here seems to have any idea who he is. Which is just insane. He's god damned Handsome Jack, practically king of the freaking galaxy. Everybody knows who he is. Even blind deaf mutes in caves know who he is.]
[It's a hell of a state to be in. On the one hand, he isn't dying in some shithole. On the other....he's here. He's got nothing. Nothing of any use, anyway. The bag of crap at the foot of his bed wasn't his. He has his watch, his wallet, and the battered old photo that he's never taken out of his inside pocket until today. His gun is gone, his knives are gone. Hell, his empire may as well be gone for all the good it does him right now.]
[What's even happening back at Hyperion? It's not like there's anyone who could possibly run the company in his absence. Sure, they can try, but good luck getting into all of his files. Thinking about the security measures he has installed brings a dark chuckle. His office is going to smell like burning guts and hair by the time he gets back.
[And Hyperion itself...holy fuck, it's bound to be a shit show. Idiots running around without any idea where the money is, killing each other off in a panic and hoping they got to sit in the big chair and wear the big boots. At least that means he has time to gather his resources, use what he can from this place and get home.]
[Because clearly this place has something useful. He's not dead. He's fine. He'd taken a hell of a beating at the hands of those murdering bandits, but he'd never know it now. That is something that intrigues him. Hyperion regen tech is only so good.]
[Now he just has to find his way out of this sad little excuse for a base. What the fuck kind of name is 'Team Rocket', anyway? Nothing here has anything to do with space travel or rocket launchers. Talk about a bait and switch.]
[He stalks into the halls like he owns the place, paying attention to the announcements but taking no personal interest. He won't wear that tacky uniform that was laid out for him. He's in his suit, the old photo tucked back against his chest and feeling like a weight. He's not unaware of the implications of his situation, but he'll dwell on that later.]
[A Meowth is scampering along at his feet. Jack does his best to ignore it. At least the bag of garbage someone had the lack of brain-cells to animate had stayed in his room. Someone should have flushed that thing down the toilet the second it came out of it's test tube.]
no subject
Excuse me! Could you tell me where the computer room is?
[So far he hasn't managed to get this answer out of anyone, but he'll keep trying!]
no subject
[The mild annoyance of being mistaken for an information bot is entirely offset when Jack gets a look at the guy who's stopped him. Is he terminal or something? Holy crap! He looks like he'd blow away in a strong breeze.]
[If this is a private army operation, their standards suck.]
Forget the computer lab, shouldn't you be in bed hooked up to some tubes, grandpa?
no subject
I assure you, I'm fit as a fiddle.
no subject
[If this guy is fit and healthy, he's a fire skag.]
[Then again...this planet's already shown evidence of pretty miraculous medical technology. If they can patch him up after what those Vault Hunters did to him, who's to say they couldn't pump some ancient cancer-bag full of pep-juice?]
So seriously, what's your deal?
no subject
I'm just eager to see how this place is run. I haven't decided on a task here at the base.
no subject
[Or maybe not. It does tell him something.]
You give a shit about...whatever they're doing here?
[The natives aren't exactly helpful, in Handsome Jack's brief experience so far. Almost like he's getting rote answers. Maybe this guy can tell him something.]
[He sort of has that mad genius look going on.]
no subject
[He adjusts his glasses and eyes the little Meowth by the man's shoes. Hmm. Doesn't look very trained. This guy isn't his senior at all, is he?]
no subject
[Jack himself has paid no attention to his Pokemon. He's grudgingly accepting its presence merely because it's some sort of cat thing. A stupid looking cat thing, but it's definitely some kind of cat thing.]
no subject
That depends on what you want to know.
no subject
[Literally any information would be welcome at this point. Even the name of this damned planet! Maybe then he can at least figure out what fucking galaxy he's ended up in.]
Look.
[He takes a deep breath. This guy doesn't know who he is. This guy's just some ignorant old guy living underground on speck of dust at the edge of existence. Time to pull out the charm.]
I've had a really bad week. Long story, we don't need to get into it, but I've been under insane amounts of stress. And then this happens. Help a guy out.
no subject
You're in the Goldenrod Team Rocket base. It's a terrible place and there isn't anything I can do about that right this instant. I've read some people worship a being named Arceus--and if you're wondering where the music is coming form, you have it to thank--and as far as how we got here, well...I can't tell you that.
[His frown lessens just a little.]
The region we're in is called Johto. And the creature by your heels is a Pokemon--your friend and protector.
no subject
[That's more detail than he knew before. Okay. Not exactly helpful, but he doesn't have any context here.]
Yeah, yeah, I read about poke-mens. How do I get a better looking one?
[If he has to have one of the dumb things, he at least wants a super cool one. Failed attempt at a cat is not cool looking. That maybe has some chance at actually protecting him.]
And how do I get out of here?
no subject
With training, Pokemon are able to grow and change into other Pokemon. You can find others in the wild.
[Jack turns his attention back to his new acquaintance.]
Do you know where the computers are?
no subject
[The Meowth, poor thing, simply gazes up at its trainer in pure adoration.]
Computers? I don't know. [He shrugs.] I might have seen a sign back that way, I was looking for one that says 'exit'.
[Something tells him that it's not going to be that easy.]
no subject
Ah, thank you! And best of luck. If you want to find the exit you'll have to find the stairs. This place is a maze--on purpose I imagine--but keep right and you'll find it eventually.
[With that, Jack wanders off. He's sure Handsome Jack will calm down once he gets some fresh air!]
no subject
C'mon, ya hunk a' junk. Gimmi my Dodritos.
no subject
[God help him, this place is a fucking freak show.]
It can't understand you. You get that, right?
no subject
Is that right.
[Who's this chump and what's wrong with his face? It seems to be missing something. Like his fist.]
no subject
[Jack eyes the talking boulder's uniform, folding his arms and appearing not to be bothered by the implied thread of the brute's stance and size.]
I'm guessing you work here.
no subject
Figure that out all by yourself?
[THUNK.]
If you want something, you'll have to get in line.
[THUNK.]
no subject
[Fuck him sideways, it's just like trying to talk to Brick. He can already feel a headache coming on. Nothing tries his patience like brute stupidity.]
I've got things to do. Important things. Companies to run, planets to fix, eras of peace and enlightenment to usher in. Big shit.
no subject
Good luck with that, pal. The game put you here for a reason. We're the Bad Guys.
no subject
[This guy? Oh yeah, he looks like a bad guy. Jack's the freaking hero. But something Poke-Brick says does catch his attention.]
What do you mean, 'game'?
no subject
[With a final punch, Ralph shatters the front glass of the machine and the chip bag falls into the bin below.]
Finally!
[As he reaches down, he realizes what he's just said and he reeeeeally doesn't wanna explain the game thing to somebody with Jack's attitude.]
Nevermind, forget I said anything.
no subject
And that was worth it?
What did you mean.
[It doesn't come out sounding like a question.]
no subject
[He picks the little flecks of glass off his knuckles and pops open the bag. Normally he'd turn his back on someone like Jack and amble off, but he'd been in a shit mood since he woke up back at the Base. He needs to take it out on someone.]
I said don't worry about it. They put you through training yet?
no subject
[Barbarians and bandits, do all their talking with their fists. He's seen more of them than ought to be allowed. God, they make him sick.]
[And here he is, stuck with another. And he can't even shoot the neanderthal in the face.]
'They' haven't done a freaking thing, other than stick me here. I don't work for these assholes. I don't work for anybody, they all work for me.
no subject
Now that-- that is funny! You're a funny guy, Mr--what's your name anyway?
no subject
[He lifts an eyebrow, more perplexed at the boulder with a brain cell's reaction than anything else.]
I'm not really sure what's so funny. It's true. I run the largest corporation in the six galaxies. Hyperion. It's kind of a big deal.
no subject
Alright, Handsome Jack, I hate t'break it to ya, but we're nobodies here. At least at first. If you think you can run this place, be my guest.
no subject
[In case Man-Lump actually needs the confirmation. It's not a hard name to remember. Pretty much exactly the opposite.]
[At the bit of 'advice', he only chuckles. There's something to it. Not something cruel, but something hard all the same.]
Everyone starts from nothing. It's how the strong get separated from the weak. What, you think I was just given Hyperion? I worked my ass off and I earned it myself.
no subject
Lemme know how that works out for you.