Dirk Strider (Ultimate) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uber_marionettist) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
silph_co2020-01-17 12:50 am
uber_marionettist) wrote in silph_co2020-01-17 12:50 am
Don't Do It Boy (He does it anyway)
Who: Dirk Strider and Handsome Jack
Where: Goldenrod Rocket Base
When: Mid January
Summary: Dirk is just BORROWING that Ditto, okay
Rating: PG13, brief (joke) mention of Dirk's frequent deaths in canon
The logic was sound.
Dirk isn't in the habit of awarding himself undue accolades, so the average bystander could be well assured that this statement is both completely true and fully merited. His logic was not just sound, it was fucking flawless. Team Rocket's labs are pretty damn slick, and he knows for a fact that considerable resources are appointed for their use. Ditto is a unique--and uniquely useful--Pokemon, one which he also knows (through his two goddamn jobs in the aforementioned labs) can be found in some of those labs.
Conclusion: the simplest and most practical way to get ahold of a Ditto for temporary training purposes is to 'requisition' one from the Rocket Labs.
There's no way in hell he's going to risk his narratively positioned career trying to smuggle one out right under the noses of dozens of loyal Rocket scientists, not to mention actual security. Not that he doesn't think it's possible. He's a goddamn ninja. He could do it.
But why would he do that when he can just walk in at a less than licit hour and just-as-illicitly 'requisition' one for private use?
That was the idea, anyway, and right up through the part where he actually left the lab in question, it was fine. Everything was... underwhelmingly straightforward, actually. He'd known security was more focused on keeping non-Rocket personnel out of things (spin tiles and passworded doors are easily traversed if you're a Rocket yourself) than policing those within the organisation, but he'd still been wary for some kind of.... he didn't know. An alarm system? Even a basic one? But when scientists took Pokemon in and out of different labs all the time, that didn't appear to be something they'd installed.
Okay.
Just the cameras, then. Which are embedded in statues. Which--unlike ledges--can be scaled, handily preventing any record of his passage to and from the labs as he vaults over each one undetected.
So there he is, getting his parkour on with the sick flips and acrobatic fucking pirouettes off some symbolic chunky kaiju things.
And that's when his assumption that ass o'clock traffic would be deader than his own headless corpse(s) makes an ass out of him.
Where: Goldenrod Rocket Base
When: Mid January
Summary: Dirk is just BORROWING that Ditto, okay
Rating: PG13, brief (joke) mention of Dirk's frequent deaths in canon
The logic was sound.
Dirk isn't in the habit of awarding himself undue accolades, so the average bystander could be well assured that this statement is both completely true and fully merited. His logic was not just sound, it was fucking flawless. Team Rocket's labs are pretty damn slick, and he knows for a fact that considerable resources are appointed for their use. Ditto is a unique--and uniquely useful--Pokemon, one which he also knows (through his two goddamn jobs in the aforementioned labs) can be found in some of those labs.
Conclusion: the simplest and most practical way to get ahold of a Ditto for temporary training purposes is to 'requisition' one from the Rocket Labs.
There's no way in hell he's going to risk his narratively positioned career trying to smuggle one out right under the noses of dozens of loyal Rocket scientists, not to mention actual security. Not that he doesn't think it's possible. He's a goddamn ninja. He could do it.
But why would he do that when he can just walk in at a less than licit hour and just-as-illicitly 'requisition' one for private use?
That was the idea, anyway, and right up through the part where he actually left the lab in question, it was fine. Everything was... underwhelmingly straightforward, actually. He'd known security was more focused on keeping non-Rocket personnel out of things (spin tiles and passworded doors are easily traversed if you're a Rocket yourself) than policing those within the organisation, but he'd still been wary for some kind of.... he didn't know. An alarm system? Even a basic one? But when scientists took Pokemon in and out of different labs all the time, that didn't appear to be something they'd installed.
Okay.
Just the cameras, then. Which are embedded in statues. Which--unlike ledges--can be scaled, handily preventing any record of his passage to and from the labs as he vaults over each one undetected.
So there he is, getting his parkour on with the sick flips and acrobatic fucking pirouettes off some symbolic chunky kaiju things.
And that's when his assumption that ass o'clock traffic would be deader than his own headless corpse(s) makes an ass out of him.
Okay NOW I can tag you on the fourth wall lmao jUST HAD TO MAKE SURE
Oh.
The tense background radiation of paranoia ebbs noticeably--at least from Dirk's internal perspective. Externally it's not really any more noticeable than anything else Dirk is thinking or feeling. Which is to say, a bit more than he believes, but a whole lot less than would ever be helpful to someone who did give a shit.
He has a whole repertoire of behaviours he deploys specifically for cuing people into what he wants them to see, though. In this case, he crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the heavy statue with a purposefully casual air, like he ain't got a care in the fucking world. He's still hiding from its eyes, though, those ever-watchful cameras very much on his mind.
"Oh, if that's all, then. Here I was afraid you had some kind of ulterior motive."
no subject
The brightest crayon in the box was still just a crayon in the box. Jack's agenda, at least with Rocket, is relatively clear. Advance to gain some real power within the organization. Sure, he's gonna ride grunts to the top, but that's just what you do. Dirk's already proven he can do his job and not fuck up, he's already doing everything Jack asks.
"I've got two houses. I got level hundred Pokemon. I got ten cats that shit money every day, I'm good, champ."
This is a lie, but it's one Jack almost believes himself.
no subject
Dirk's moment of relief from paranoia is somewhat reduced by the emphatic tone of Jack's denial. The fact that he won't stop using condescendingly paternal appellations is icing on the shit cake. Bud. Champ. Kid.
"I don't know your personal life." He keeps his tone even, neutral. Firm. If there is one thing Dirk Strider has mastered, it's a monotone.