text

[fingersandteeth]

Right. I have a few questions about all of this:

1. From what I can tell, we seem to be the Pokemon Mafia. At the very least, we're organized criminals. That said, why on earth are we calling ourselves *Team Rocket* of all things? It's not exactly a name engineered to strike fear in the hearts of many.

2. I realize that it's not likely a criminal organization would have vision or dental coverage, however: would it be possible to request prescription contacts for use when wearing my uniform?

3. Who should I talk to in order to maximize my chances of gaining employment in the radio tower after training is over? I understand that there's no way to check my references, but I can provide a resume, once I get a chance to retype it.

Comments

[conniemaheswaran]

Hey! Welcome to Team Rocket. Hope you enjoy your stay here at least marginally better than me.

1. I don't know the origin of the name, but I do know that it actually fits our organization's nature as glorified Saturday morning cartoon villains. It's almost funny how incompetent most of the rank and file members of the team are. Including some of the management.

2. Carly has the answer for this one, I think. HEY, CARLY!

3. Handsome Jack, probably. He was pretty sympathetic to my plight, at least, he's setting me up with a data entry job once I'm done touring the regions a little bit.

[fingersandteeth]

What, you *don't* enjoy being press-ganged into a life of crime?

1. Great. Amazing.

3. Handsome Jack, got it. Data Entry... wouldn't be horrible, I suppose, but I'd rather work in something closer to my field if possible.

[conniemaheswaran]

Yeah, it's really not ideal. Trust me, I'd much rather be studying for college than be under the thumb of a nebulous criminal organization.

But all things considered, it isn't a very big thumb. There are a few ways to game the system, and as long as you're a good little peon and send them in a relatively rare Pokémon every few weeks or stay dedicated to one of their full time jobs, you have a lot of freedom once you leave basic training.

[fingersandteeth]

And I'd much rather be on the right side of the law, but you do what you have to in order to get by, I suppose. And really, for all I know, the local government might be just as bad. I haven't had a chance to really research it yet. It's been 48 hours, if that, since I woke up here.

[conniemaheswaran]

From what I've seen, the police force and all of the medical institutions on the continent are run by two different families of nearly-identical women with the same name. I've chosen not to think about it.

Make of that what you will.

[fingersandteeth]

... that's disturbing.

[Welp. That's one more point to the Back In Acadia column. Pokeworld, you were doing so well before this.]

[conniemaheswaran]

Yep! I'd hate this entire place if my best friend and my mentors weren't here with me.

(The opportunities for adventure are also pretty choice, I'll admit.)

They... aren't part of Team Rocket, though. So that's awkward.

[fingersandteeth]

I mean, I've been in worse places. Much worse.

[Have you ever lived largely without light for five years? Steven has.]

You don't think that anytime anyone decides to go into nursing or the police force, they start to become one of these women?

[Because that's definitely how it would work in Arcadia and now he can't stop thinking of it like that.]

[conniemaheswaran]

Somebody should write a horror novel about that.

...somebody already has, probably.

TEXT

[insidescoop]

Oh, someone new again!?

This is happening a lot, phew.

Well, I'm Carly! Uh, it looks like I've been mentioned?

1 - Honestly cartoon logic is the only answer I have...

2 - There's a way around this actually! We can't steal things if we can't see, and we can't focus on stealing things if we can't eat without getting tooth pain. Use that justification and you'll get those glasses in no-time (It's how I did it, it's great~)

(I got contacts as well, for uniform though, so yes you'll be fine)

3 - Honestly of anyone here, Handsome Jack's been around the longest; you might have to do some climbing up the ranks though, I think they take the radio positions real seriously!

Re: TEXT

[fingersandteeth]

The person upthread did, yes.

1. Wonderful. I'm so glad.

2. I came with my glasses, actually. I just need the contacts because they'd be easier to wear the mask with and make me slightly less recognizable while on the job.

(At least the organized criminals are reasonable about these things.)

3. I do have prior experience in television, if that helps me get a foot in the door.

TEXT

[insidescoop]

mine were broken admittedly...

Oh, you can probably get that covered though, the contacts! I mean...the uniform is kind of a requirement so having glasses with it defeats the point.

I'd think it would? I was a reporter back home but I also never got this kind of chance to travel, so I aha. I haven't actually asked?

It makes the most sense though... (Good luck?)

Re: TEXT

[fingersandteeth]

Is that a local thing, organized criminals having official uniforms? Because again, it really does seem like a strange choice.

[Seriously. He's the furthest thing from a criminal type and even he can see how Team Rocket's entire... thing seems amazingly counterproductive in every way.]

I was an anchor for the local CBS evening news back home. I guess that makes us colleagues twice over.

[insidescoop]

I mean we've got actual background music, so I'm not gonna question it at this point.

And hey~! Neat! I was one of the headliner reporters for the city paper on my end! Did my own photos too, I'm pretty proud of it~

If you get into the radio position, definitely tell us what it's like, I might eventually join in.

[fingersandteeth]

My god. We really *are* living in a video game.

[insidescoop]

It's pretty isekai-style yeah.

...

whatever you do don't let Dirk EVER see or hear you say that though, he has some reaaaaaaally specific thoughts about it that I'm trying not to encourage,

(He's one of our coworkers, by the way)

[fingersandteeth]

What kind of thoughts?

[What? He's curious.]

[TEXT]

[uber_marionettist]

Welcome to Team Rocket. Keep your hands in someone else's pockets at all times and don't forget to check yourself for post-concussion syndrome before you start. I hear TBI can be a real bitch.

Re: [TEXT]

[fingersandteeth]

Thank you. I *do* feel so *very* welcome.

[uber_marionettist]

Sarcasm, good start. But I'd try for for a pun next, that's a little more cognitively revealing.

[fingersandteeth]

I don't pun on demand. Who do I look like, Piers Anthony?

[uber_marionettist]

You like high fantasy?

Not exactly my genre, but we share some themes.

[fingersandteeth]

Yeah.

Not that I've been into Piers Anthony in *decades*--he's one of those writers you grow out of when your voice starts to crack--but he's still the first thing that springs to mind when it comes to puns on demand.

What themes?

[uber_marionettist]

Decades, huh. How old are you? No judgment. It is, as they say, just a fuckin number.

But we were talking themes. Shit--what themes don't they share, come to think of it. My story's got it all. A tale of epic scale and epic length, a coming of age of chosen players in a sprawling mythos of gods and villains, all the good shit people line up for.

Or that's the intent. Stories are tricky, whether you're writing them or just living them. I won't pretend I'm not eager to get back to it, but I'm a good eight months into this apparently aimless work of fluff fiction.

Which is what this is, I'm gonna do you a favour and drop that one on your plate while it's still hot. We're talking kiddie-pool depth, bumpers on the sides of the lane to keep you from falling in the gutter. No bladed weapons, no weaponised blades. Death don't stick and you never actually bite it if you try but it does cut your finances in half every time you eat shit, so it's not advised you make a habit of it.

That might be hard to swallow so I'd let that digest, but if you can choke it down, everything else gets easier to stomach.

[fingersandteeth]

Thirty-seven. I *think*. Time didn't run the same in the place where I was taken before. I *think* I was gone five years on the inside, but outside it was a bit over three?

This is *not* my first supernatural kidnapping rodeo. Which I'm probably breaking the rules by telling you about it, but I figure this is just close *enough* to being taken by the Gentry that letting people know is just good sense.

So yeah. I think I can choke that down. The only thing I'd worry about is if we're in goddamn fairyland again, but I can't tell that yet. Signs are *maybe* pointing to no, but for all I know, the ruler of this domain has enough power over it to nerf everything and make me human again.