silph_co | Video

Hey there, kiddos!

So...

I'm guessing by this point you've all seen the dude that looks and sounds just like a really roughed up version of me.

That's Jack Number Two.

[He figures it's about time he addresses this situation, since it could end up being a sort of liability.]

Long ass story short, he's my doppelganger, he took an insanely high paying job to basically be a secondary me. And he was really good at it for a while, but then I guess some shit happened and I haven't seen him in years and he's all pissed off about things that happened when I wasn't even around.

[Like it's Jack's own fault that he ended up getting his ass kicked by terrorists and the casino went into lock down with Other Jack in it. The dude has Jack's DNA, he could have gotten out. Probably. Anyway the point was it wasn't anything that had been Jack's fault.]

He doesn't know I'm a high ranking member of this stupid organization. Don't mess with him or anything, cuz for one he's basically me and messing with me is a bad idea in general - I at least like most of you people. He doesn't.

And plus I'm trying to work shit out with him, so just leave him alone.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If he's got regrets, that's his problem. He knew what he was getting into. Plus he was so well compensated... he got to live my life. He was paid insane amounts of money to go to exclusive clubs and eat fancy dinners and take out beautiful rich people and wear designer clothes and be pampered. Pretty fair trade for any minor issues he might have picked up - I took really great care of that dude.

But yeah, he's looking for somebody to blame and here I am. Which hurts, I'm not gonna lie, we used to be pretty close.

But I also want to make it clear I don't want anybody giving the guy shit.

I mean, did he really get it even if he thought he knew? If he's an actor, even a method actor... roles usually have a time limit.

Like, your life sounds great. Getting to live like you did and be paid for it, it sounds so great on the surface. If it were just that... but always having to be someone else, react as if you were them, hear their name in your ear instead of your own... it's got to wear on a guy, eventually. No matter who they're being.

I mean, you know I respect you more than pretty much anyone else in the damn world, Jack, and I couldn't be a knock-off you long term without cracking in the end. No matter how great a guy you are--and you know I think you're a great guy. You're the best guy in this goddamn region, Jack. But I couldn't do what he did long term. I'd have-- god, I'd have totally lost it in the end. Hearing your name in my ears instead of mine, seeing your face instead of mine in the mirror... God, eventually I wouldn't be sure if I'd ever really existed as Steven Durante at all. I'd have completely lost myself. I'd have completely lost it.

That said, it's absolutely bullshit that he's taking it out on you. It's absolutely not fair to you at all. He shouldn't be such a little prick about things and he should have maybe taken the time to think about what he was getting into before he signed that contract with you. But he didn't. And now we have this mess to deal with.

That's what all the extensive psychological testing was for! And I'm not gonna get into all the details of the doppelganger program because we'd be here all day and most of it is crazy science shit anyway...but it's not like there weren't precautions and stuff for all that.

[Such as re-sequencing Tim's DNA so it was Jack's, and therefor rewriting his cells and the way he thinks.]

[At least Steven already knows exactly how to talk to Jack, so he doesn't see this as an argument or an attempt to question his own decisions.]

And anyway...it's been like half a decade since he was even on the job, I guess, so it's not like he hasn't had time to deal with his shit. And he's not even pissed off about that.

No, he's pissed off because some shit went down and he got stuck in our casino? Which I had nothing to do with!

But it's not even really a mess it's just...a thing I have to deal with? It's not like he's coming after me or anything, or he's gonna make trouble or some shit, we just had a fight last time we talked. The worst he's ever done is he ran off with one of my Pokemon once.

He's...he's not a threat.

Well. Okay. But if he ever becomes one... you know I've got your back, Jack. I don't want him to hurt you.

I know ya do, and I appreciate the hell out of it. But no, no, he's not gonna hurt me. He's not an enemy, he's not even that good at insulting me.

I just want to make sure there's no identity confusion - I wouldn't put it passed him to turn me in if he found out I'm in the cute animal mafia.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, no, I'm glad you told me. I would have hated to screw this up for you, even by accident.

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