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So. Given that the number of transplant Rockets currently stands at eight, I think it's time we got organized. Which means that beginning today, I'll be posting on the 'gear at the start of each month with topics we need to discuss. You may have noticed that I am doing this in text format. There is a reason for that and a reason why I'd ask the rest of you to reply in text format too. But first,

1. Welcome Lydia and Tyler! Lydia is nearly done with Mandatory Training Hell. Tyler is unfortunately just starting his. Rest assured that while training is stupid, tedious, and seems never-ending, it does, in fact, end eventually, and you'll be free to travel anywhere as long as you turn in your quota. If you decide after this that that you want a job with a Rocket-owned company instead, contact Jack. As our resident Alpha, he has connections to get you where you need to be.

2. This brings me to the reason we're doing this in text format: Tyler is deaf and not a lip-reader. We are looking into disability accommodations for him, but until those are established, I'd like it if we could include text components when we post on the 'gear as much as possible. I also think it would be a good idea if we *all* learned at least *some* sign language so that we can communicate with him in the field--and possibly also use said sign language to pass secret messages between ourselves as well.

3. Dirk's fossil heist last week went astoundingly well for our first outing as a crew and while a large part of it was due to his masterful planning, *everyone* who participated did their part to make the job go smoothly. We shouldn't just stop there. We need to build on that success with another and then another. I think we ought to try to pull off something impressive on a monthly basis if possible. This would be a good time to start discussing what we do next.

4. I've already asked this of Lydia, but I'd like it if everyone who has abilities they've lost in coming here could contact me or Jack with a broad summary of those, so we can start thinking if we want to do anything special on the next weird weekend that happens to take advantage of being un-nerfed. You absolutely do not need to provide that summary here if you don't want to, however. A private call or meeting is more than fine.

5. Jack and I have been talking about devising a cover for meeting each other outside of HQ if we need to, either privately with him and I or together in a large group. While I have a built-in excuse for regularly being in Jack's company, due to our relationship, most of you do not. *However*, as some of you may already know, Jack's public source of income is a company he runs that creates, among other things, inspirational posters and general cute pokemon goods and we *all* ought to have at least one pokemon that is photogenic. Thus, the cover will be that Jack is paying each of you a modeling fee to use our pokemon on his posters--and there will be photoshoots to lend credence to that cover. Any larger meetings will be covered by the excuse of 'group photoshoot'--as well as any long-term travel we might end up doing. Team Rocket will be billed for your 'modeling fees.'

6. Speaking of covers, Steve P is discussing the, ah, *special* fossils we received from 'C. Liss' during the Pewter job on the public channel now. People can feel free to talk about their own Frankenstein creatures there as well, but our story is that C. Liss approached us all individually at various locations, before shoving the muddy pokeballs in our hands and running, and that this is the first time we're learning about other people she's done that to. Given that this is very close to what actually happened, except that we were all together at the time and in the process of grand larceny, I *think* we can all stick to this very simple cover.

For the moment, I *think* those are the most important things to consider. If something comes up before April that needs to be addressed by the group, I'll make a new post to the channel.

[A couple hours later, Steven pins a reply to the top of the post.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What the fuck?

I thought we could use a little better organization around here.

We. As in you and Jack, I guess? Since I obviously wasn't consulted. Not that I have rank to pull in terms of whatever Jack's decisionmaking process is, but I'm not a fan of being organised by someone who isn't me.

[It's the better part of an hour before he gets a reply.]

Yeah. I can guess.

And Jack isn't fond of his subordinates going off and posting something like this without even giving him the chance to read it over and get his approval on the wording, even if they *are* his boyfriend.

So I guess I fucked up on multiple levels.

Sorry.

I'll be doing a correction soon, based on his critique.

Wow. Gotta admit. I wasn't expecting that.

Guess that explains that down there in your replies. Awkward much?

Yeah.

There's probably a reason you aren't supposed to date your boss and this is probably it. Not that I'm going to stop or anything.

I got cocky, Dirk. I forgot that just because I've been putting in all this extra work for Jack and the team, just because I'm the closest thing Jack has to a right hand man... that doesn't make me *not* the newest recruit bar Lydia and Tyler. And he pointed out, rightly, that the way I wrote this it look like I was sleeping my way into power and he was letting me.

So. I'm working on that correction. Except now I also have to do more damage control on the whole hideous fossil abomination situation, because Carly didn't bother to look at Steve P's post or even look inside her goddamn pokeball until she was *live on screen*.

I'm. God. I'm so fucking done with today, Dirk. So. Fucking. Done.

I mean, that's pretty much what I assumed was going on, yeah. But there are probably worse ways to fuck that one up. I don't know what they are, but

[.....]

Scratch that.

There are definitely worse ways to fuck that one up. And I do know what they are.

Good intentions and good dick have been the twin downfall of actual fucking gods. You're practically in the company of greatness, you lucky dog.

And no, I'm not taking any questions about that statement.

Change of topic: you seem to have the fossil 'thing' covered, but why the fuck is that your problem to begin with? Carly outranks you. Her ass lands in jail for a bit, that's her business. And that is the actual worst that can even happen here. Or is this more royal 'we' bullshit? Is that your deal now?

Damnit. I expected better from Carly. That's disappointing, actually.

I mean. Sort of?

She *is* part of Jack's crew. I know you've got your whole independent operator schtick going on but the rest of us? We're his men. Doubly so in my case. And I've always believed in taking care of your own.

But also, she's my friend? Call me sentimental, but even if it's baby jail, I still don't want to see her go there or get caught.

You can care about someone in a way that hurts them. What I just said about good intentions? That applies here, too.

If you don't give them a chance to learn from their mistakes, they'll never learn.

[It's a bit before he replies back.]

Yeah. Maybe, yeah.

I'll think about that, Dirk.

......

ok we need 2 talk

Shit.

Edited 2020-03-04 15:52 (UTC)

[SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. Steven knows what that means when you're in a relationship. That means nothing good. God, has he wrecked this completely already? Is he that much of a disaster boyfriend that Jack hates him already? Fuck. Fuck.

The words come rapid fire, one after another, line by line by line.]

I'm sorry. I should have run that past you before I sent it, but I swear to god, work was so completely *dead* and everything was so mind-numbingly boring that I found myself just

shit

just drafting that up and posting it before I even really had time to think about how I should have

fuck

sent it to you first. I don't even know.

Fuck. I overstepped, didn't I, oh god oh god

Give me a minute, I need to get someone to cover me, I've still got another hour of work left, I can't

fuck, this job is all i have if

fuck

ok i got someone to cover where are you

Edited 2020-03-04 15:58 (UTC)

Holy fuckballs, Steven, calm your tits. Like now.

[Jack rolls his eyes. His boyfriend is so fucking dramatic sometimes.]

I mean....you realize you did wrong.

But just to hammer it home....I am the dude who's been paying his dues and busting his hump for half a decade here. I am the dude who's been able to whip at least a part of Rocket into proper working order. I am the one who has been promoted and honored by the admins personally. I am the face and voice of our branch of Team Rocket.

You are my boyfriend but you are still a grunt. The fact that we're dating and you're an important person to me doesn't mean you're automatically an important Rocket. I've been working very hard to demonstrate my authority and the fact that I've got our shit together, and I really don't like anybody else - even my favorite guy! - compromising that. And how's this gonna look? Huh? The boss's boyfriend making announcements like this? It makes me look like a nepotist and you look like a guy fucking his way to the top.

We got it?

[When Steven switches to voice, the sound of a low wind can be heard behind him, coupled with the faint sound of traffic coming from far below. He's probably standing on the lower roof, underneath where the real Tower extends.]

Yeah, [he says hoarsely.] Yeah, Jack, we got it.

[There's a long moment where there's just the sound of the wind and the traffic in the distance.]

Is there... shit. Is there any way to fix this? I don't want this to look like that. I don't. I know I told you before that I wanted to be the boss when I first got here but. I don't. I mean. That was before I really got to know you.

I don't want to be a part of this if you aren't there to lead me forward. I am staggering around like a fucking dumbass who's only just learned to-- to-- god. Do anything criminal or worthwhile or fun.

Ugh.

... I hate... I hate how dependent it makes me sound... but I wouldn't... I don't know what I'd do here without you. I really don't. You-- you freed me from myself and you've been so good to me and you've... fuck. You've made me happy. I don't know, maybe it doesn't sound like much, but I've never been happy before, not this consistently. Small snatches of it, maybe, but not like this, not like now. With you, I'm happy every day. And this is the closest I've ever been to being at peace with myself and what I am.

I don't know what I'd do without you. [Beat.] Also Tyler has my old bed now, so I can't go back to the dorms.

[Another moment where the only thing that can be heard is the wind, distant traffic, and Steven's soft sigh.]

God. The other Steve actually does think this makes me... he's so stupid. But if he can make that mistake, who's to say the smart ones won't either?

Is there anything you can say in there that doesn't... completely invalidate everything I put up there, because all of those points were important, but... kind of puts me in my place, I guess? Like, fuck, I don't know.

[In a Jack-like voice,] 'Aren't you a receptionist, babe? Good thing you're not a secretary. You're crap at dictation.' [Back in his own,] Something like that.

Deep breaths, babe, deep breaths. You're gonna have a fucking aneurysm over this or something.

Do...do you think I'm breaking up with you? Where the hell did I give any impression I'm breaking up with you? Seriously. In the words of the great goddess Tswift, you need to calm down. Take a lap, have some juice and a string cheese, jerk off in the bathroom...whatever it takes, just calm the fuck down.

See, I'm a rational adult. Which means we talk about this shit. Or...I talk, you listen. I have talked. You have listened. We've got this cleared up now and I know that you know how we do things around here. Now we make a habit of having to do this....then we're gonna have a problem. But we're cool now.

And no, I'm not fixing this. You're a grown up, too, you can fix your own messes!

Besides...if you'd come to me beforehand, I would have recommended getting the deaf dude a psychic Pokemon to 'hear' and communicate for him. Which is way easier than like eight people learning a whole new language.

They can do that? Holy shit. Tyler's already got a Natu.

... it still wouldn't be a bad thing for some of us to learn basic signs in case the little guy faints, though. But yeah, not a whole language. Well, I might try to get conversational in it. I've been doing really well at getting Tyler's loyalty so far and I kinda... want to keep up with that? He's a good kid. Well, he's Dirk's age, maybe. Not really a kid.

[He takes a deep breath. Lets it out.]

You're right. I am a grown-up and I can fix my own messes. And...

I don't know. Yeah. I guess maybe I did think you were breaking up with me.

I mean, fuck, I don't know, Liam broke up with me for something a lot less important than undermining him at work and making him look bad and jeopardizing years of plans. We were brooding in the kitchen about Proposition 8 getting passed--that's the one that made same-sex married illegal again--and I said 'well, it's not like No on 8 didn't completely botch minority outreach' and he said, 'what would you know? At least they tried to stop it.' And I said, 'what do you mean?' and he said 'you're on the goddamn news, you could have come out, you could have said something," and I said, "not if I wanted to keep my job,' and then we were on our feet and shouting, saying really inexcusable shit, both of us and I suddenly was an over-ambitious closet case who would sell his soul for fame and fortune and--

God. I don't know. Maybe I was flashing back to that a little. He never understood me or even really knew me, not like you, but. I don't know. He was the only other person I thought I might have made a life with and within an hour he was shouting at me to get out of his goddamn apartment right the fuck now. Thank god I'd just lost a subletter and I was still waiting for my lease to be up.

He was wrong, though. About me. Money's nice, respect is nice, people listening to me is a hell of a lot nice... but I've got some integrity, damn it. Yeah, sure, I'm basically a monster by the standards of my place and time... but there's shit I won't do. Not a lot, it turns out, but like. I won't betray something I believe in.

I believe in you, Jack. If I believe in anything, I believe in you.

Some of'em. Pokemon can do all kinds of shit!

Okay. Okay, yeah, I get it. You...you really could have just said 'we had a fight over something small that blew up', it would have gotten the same point across. Brevity and wit, babe.

I'm not your ex. And I'm gonna let ya know right now: we're gonna have fights. Sometimes some bad ones! I'll say awful shit, you'll say awful shit, walls might get punched... But a fight is not a breakup.

So just relax, stop freaking out. First there's a molehill, then there's a mountain, and now I hope there's no mountain and we're done because I am coming dangerously close to quoting fucking Donovan lyrics and I hate that pretentious wanna be flower child.

Yeah, it's obvious I'm the actor, not the writer in my family. I think all of this has made it obvious.

But okay. Yes. Right. You're right. Normal couples... they fight. They don't not until everything blows up. It's normal. We're normal. Future space normal, anyway.

Yeah. We're done.

... anything I can do for you to make up for this? Besides the correction, which I'm working on right now.

Yeah, you sure are. Ya ever think about pursuing that here?

They sure do! No fights means no passion, and what the fuck kinda relationship is that?

You don't gotta write a correction, just make it clear there's been no regime change. Don't worry about it, babe.

I mean, maybe? I'm no professional. [He considers this.] Well, I've never been paid for it specifically. It's just always been part and parcel of interacting with people at all.

I don't know. Maybe if I'm at a place where I can stop acting more often.

And okay. Thanks. I'll do that with everyone.

[There's a brief pause before he adds,]

When I get home. I'll do anything you want tonight. No matter what you ask of me. Or even if you don't ask anything. I mean it.

[He owes you, Jack.]

Might wanna think about it! It'd be pretty sweet to be able to point to the TV and go 'that's my boyfriend!'

Aw, babe. [As though Jack doesn't just assume that's always the case.] We'll see what I'm in the mood for.

I mean, in all likelihood, if I were trying to go back on television, I'd still want to read the news, but-- We'll see, okay?

... I think once I clear my head, though, and reply to everyone I need to, I'll probably go... mm. Pick-pocket or mug someone, probably. Just to-- fuck, I don't know, deal with this stress. So I might be a little late because of that. But I've got keys, so.

Okay, have fun, just make sure you got a good disguise when ya do it.

See ya tonight.

Well yeah. Naturally.

See you tonight, Jack.

wow dude u rite alot 🙄
r u like a boss already?

i kno how 2 say BS but thats it
How am i meant 2 learn a new language? I dont go 2 school

I'm *not* the boss. I am nowhere near the boss. JACK is the boss. I just. I work for him. The same as any of you.

I'll find learning materials for you later. Right now I need to talk to *my* boss.

Edited 2020-03-04 15:58 (UTC)

lol ok chill
I was just asking

[Honestly, that's a relief because he's been here for months and he's still a Grunt.]

r u really going 2 write a hole thing every month?
this is taking 4 eva 2 read.

Maybe not this long.

And. I don't know. I'll ask Jack. I kind of went over his head a little in posting this without having him look it over. Like, these were mostly all things we've been talking about together, but I really should have waited until I was home to go through it with him. Instead of getting bored at the reception desk because we've been so stupidly slow today and typing this up between the rare visitor and, well, posting it while I still had an hour to go.

u dont have 2 ask him what 2 do
Sure hes the boss but whats he gonna do?
mobs are 4 life
u kno who he is so he cant kick u out and its not like u can die

If I'm speaking for him or presuming to speak for him, I *should* let him have final say. It's basic courtesy and being a responsible subordinate.

Also, he's my boyfriend, which makes it doubly important I run these things past him.

You'll understand it better when you're in a relationship of your own.

[...it's a good thing that peacoat is actually really nice ~~and that he doesn't own anything else~~ or he'd be returning it in an absolute fit of spite.

His comments fire off in rapid succession, boy howdy he types quickly]

Are you really that dense or do you just really enjoy making me look like a fucking invalid?

I'm deaf, I'm not an idiot, when you were talking about getting some kind of accessibility I thought you meant an auto-subtitle app or helping me train my bird, not fucking demanding people learn a second language.

One this world apparently lacks resources for and that I am GROSSLY unqualified to teach, which means not only are you putting the onus on ME to teach people how to speak TO ME, everyone is going to struggle because I can't fucking correct them without hearing what they're trying to say.

LITERALLY the only person outside of my family who could understand me was my boyfriend and he was learning since he was eight.

Using a notepad was fine. Using TEXT is fine. Fuck, just send me everyone's phone numbers and I will be FINE. Don't single me out like this because you think I need coddling.

[Oh god. This is. This is the absolute fucking...

God. He's a goddamn incompetent, that's what he is. How could he ever presume to think he was in any state to organize any of this shit. He's such an idiot. He should have had somebody, anybody, look this over before he sent it out.]

You're right. You're right and I'm sorry, Tyler. I was high on my own self-importance and I was making demands that I shouldn't have and I made you look terrible. I should have run this past you, I should have run this past Jack, I should have run this past anyone.

I am so goddamn sorry.

Consider that favor paid.

[It takes the fun out of being fucking pissed at Steven when he's berating himself for it all. Tyler's a little bit shitty about that, but at least it means the guy has the self-awareness to feel shitty about being an absolute fuck-knuckle.

That doesn't mean he's not gonna make Steven stew in it for a while, though. Tyler is absolutely that petty.]

Whatever.

Look, if anyone CAN develop apps, let me know and I'll pay you back. Somehow. I don't know, single random favour to be reaped at a later date for you or something. Blowjob for the adults. I don't know.

If anyone DOES want to learn sign language, bring me some goddamn resources first. I don't know what the locals use but mine are Australian, Taiwan and some random bits of American. Yes I know multiples, No I can't guarantees you'll be anywhere close to fluent. But maybe I can teach people some fun swear words, I don't know.

But honestly, best first option is teaching my goddamn psychic bird how to be psychic at me, so let's fucking do THAT. And not teach people four other languages just to pretend we're being inclusive.

[Yeah. He kind of figured that probably wouldn't be enough.

Feeling more than a little weary, he types,]

I don't know how they are at building apps, but Dirk and Jack both have some experience with tech. I don't think Jack will accept payment from you via oral sex, though. Dirk, you'd have to talk to yourself.

[Because Tyler's still half Jack's age, not because of any moral reason.]

For what it's worth, when Jack took me to task for writing this so it sounded like I'm higher ranking than I am, he also told me I'd been overthinking things and to just get you a trained psychic Pokemon. So. Yeah.

I pinned a reply to tell everyone to disregard section two.

Edited 2020-03-05 11:34 (UTC)

CORRECTIONS:

Right. So. Jack said I didn't have to do a pinned reply like this, just make the corrections on individual basis, but since I need to do this for the first issue, I might as well do it for both. In both cases, I ought to have shown this *to* Jack before I posted this so he could have caught both issues.

FIRST, please disregard everything I said about Tyler in the second item on the list. He's already making his own arrangements, all of which were better thought out than my thoughtless efforts. Nobody has to learn sign language unless they want to.

SECONDLY, it was pointed out that the way I wrote this memo gave the impression that I am higher up on the hierarchy than I actually am. I want to correct that impression. I am a Grunt, just like most of you. I am not even the most senior Grunt in this crew. *Jack* is our Boss. I am merely here to help out.

When I was asking for people to bring things to me as an alternative to bringing them to Jack, it wasn't because I was trying to put myself on his level. It was under the theory that I would be more *available* than Jack, given that *he's* running a full-blown business as his cover and *I'm* merely holding down a part time position in the radio tower. And because I am living with Jack, it would then be easier for me to bring those things *to* Jack during the off-hours. I am a messenger, not an authority.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the patience to wait until the Boss signed off on this to post it, which necessitated these corrections. Rest assured, I won't be doing that again.

Edited 2020-03-05 11:17 (UTC)

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