An Introduction [Video]

[zenryokubatankyu]

[So all of this was more than a little confusing. It was...very, very confusing. First, he was given a new friend. Then he was told he was part of some kind of team, and he was going through training, and legitimately, his head was spinning and he did not sign up for this.

The camera flickers on, and the first thing immediately visible is a very exhausted-looking man, who heaves out a sigh before seemingly realizing it's on and putting on a lively grin much unlike the one he had on his face before. He gives a small salute to the camera.]

Yo~! I guess I should introduce myself, being new here, kinda confused, and...kinda having a headache if I'm being fully honest. The name's Matsuno Osomatsu, but any variety of 'Oso', 'Big Brother Oso', 'Osomatsu', 'Charisma Legend', 'Awesome Mirac--' ...I'm getting off track, huh?

[He clears his throat.]

So, um, I guess I'm with you guys now? Me and Snappy are, at least. Little guy's got big jaws!!! It's amazing! I'm kinda afraid I'll lose a hand....whiiiiiiiiich is super intimidating to the normies, am I right, or am I right?

[He fingerguns at the camera while winking. And then he coughs, looking a little tired again. Working at anything is hard for a NEET.]

If anyone has any advice for a newbie to the...um...criminal-ing world, let me know! I mean, it's not like I'm not capable, but there's a lot of nuance, probably. Probably!

Comments

[zenryokubatankyu]

That just means a person who isn't like us. You know, not-a-criminal. Normal person. Normie!

Wah, that's good advice for any time!!! Wish I'd known that earlier in my life. Coulda saved a few tummy aches!

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Oh, I gotcha.

I learned that just a while ago! My stomach hurt real bad and then I had everyone lecturing me not to eat only candy all the time.

[zenryokubatankyu]

Yeah, yeah.

Ehhhh? Did you literally just eat candy? I mean, I wanted to do that when I was a kid, but that is super bad for you. Eat some meats, at least! Veggies are kinda nasty but meats are okay~!

[The fact that he's speaking to a girl about eating things as like it's a new experience phases him not at all.]

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Ughhh, I know already! I eat more than candy now...

[Though she still has a sweet tooth.]

I've been trying new foods. Some of them are good, but I'll agree with you on veggies.

[zenryokubatankyu]

[He cackles.]

As long as you know!

What's the best, then? I'm curious! I'm curious!

[Osomatsu holds his head in his hands as he grins at the camera. At least he doesn't look tired now? Just amused.]

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Well, there's a little something called pizza! I really like that. You can change the ingredients on top of it as much as you want and it's like eating something new every time!

[zenryokubatankyu]

You are literally beyond legit and pizza is awesome. That's also kinda what you can do with burgers and sandwiches. You can put anything in those.

But now that you've reminded me of it, we gotta share some pizza sometime, 'kay? Pizza and sodas!

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Yeah you can, but they're just not as fun as pizza!

And yeah, of course, let's do that! Friendship pizza!

[Did she do it did she make a friend? She hopes so!]

[zenryokubatankyu]

That is a great point. You are so right.

Yessssss!!! [Fistpump!] Friendship pizza!!!! I'm excited now!

[She sure did!!!]