An Introduction [Video]

[zenryokubatankyu]

[So all of this was more than a little confusing. It was...very, very confusing. First, he was given a new friend. Then he was told he was part of some kind of team, and he was going through training, and legitimately, his head was spinning and he did not sign up for this.

The camera flickers on, and the first thing immediately visible is a very exhausted-looking man, who heaves out a sigh before seemingly realizing it's on and putting on a lively grin much unlike the one he had on his face before. He gives a small salute to the camera.]

Yo~! I guess I should introduce myself, being new here, kinda confused, and...kinda having a headache if I'm being fully honest. The name's Matsuno Osomatsu, but any variety of 'Oso', 'Big Brother Oso', 'Osomatsu', 'Charisma Legend', 'Awesome Mirac--' ...I'm getting off track, huh?

[He clears his throat.]

So, um, I guess I'm with you guys now? Me and Snappy are, at least. Little guy's got big jaws!!! It's amazing! I'm kinda afraid I'll lose a hand....whiiiiiiiiich is super intimidating to the normies, am I right, or am I right?

[He fingerguns at the camera while winking. And then he coughs, looking a little tired again. Working at anything is hard for a NEET.]

If anyone has any advice for a newbie to the...um...criminal-ing world, let me know! I mean, it's not like I'm not capable, but there's a lot of nuance, probably. Probably!

Comments

[conniemaheswaran]

...

Normies?

Really?

[Connie's face says it all.]

[zenryokubatankyu]

Well, what else are we supposed to call them?

Normies is short! It fits! They're normal people, right, right?

[conniemaheswaran]

Something that doesn't make you seem like a terminally online chud who post-ironically owns a fedora, maybe.

[zenryokubatankyu]

Holy crap, you're brutal, no wonder you're here....

Okay, what do I call 'em then...since you're obviously more experienced than me at this...

[conniemaheswaran]

I generally call them civilians. Or, you know, people.

Marks if I'm feeling particularly cranky and planning a small-scale operation.

Text

[asmywitness]

[...Tyler isn't even going to dignify the man with a video reply.]

Don't be an idiot. If you tell people you're in Team Rocket you'll get arrested, if you're lucky, or the shit beat out of you if you're not.

[zenryokubatankyu]

...That's what I've got Snappy for, right?

He's really strong.
Aren't we supposed to scare people?
Or something?
Look man I just got here I don't know how to crime

[asmywitness]

Your Pokemon is level 15. The majority of trainers I've met have ones that multiple are level 100. Pick your targets carefully.

I've never gotten the impression locals are scared of us more than they are inconvenienced, but I tend to work small-scale. No-one who's an import like us is scared of Team Rocket whatsoever.

If you can, steal Pokemon to hand over. If not, catch them. Higher ups don't care how you get them, as long as you hand them in.

[zenryokubatankyu]

gkdgdgdkg god okay noted

they're not even scared of us...that sucks. but i guess it's...sorta good for flying under the radar...

i might catch at first just because i don't want to get my ass kicked if everyone's that strong

video

[fingersandteeth]

[The screen will show a dark, bespectacled man in his late thirties, wearing a button-down shirt. He seems to be in someone's living room? A rather expensive-looking living room, in fact. He's got the kind of regular features you'd see on someone who's been on TV.

Right now he's starting to think he's lost his touch at finding newbies before they contact everyone else on the network.

But he won't let that show on his face. Instead, he'll smile pleasantly at the newbie.]

Hello, Matsuno-san--or Osomatsu, I guess I should call you. I see you've found the private channel for those of us from other worlds who get pressed ganged onto the team. But yes, if you need advice on how to be a criminal, you've come to the right place. They'll teach you the basics during your week of training hell, but we're here to tell you all the things they won't, like the best ways to expense things to the team and how to handle your quota and so on.

My name's Steven Durante and I'm one of the resident Privates. So is the guy you're talking to via text. You'll meet the other Privates, your fellow Grunts, and our Beta and our Alpha soon enough. If you have any questions, I'm happy to answer them.

Welcome to the crew.

[zenryokubatankyu]

[Finally, a nice person!! He smiles in return.]

Thanks. I appreciate it a lot, Durante-san. I've...sure got a lot, but I guess they'll mostly be answered in training. Mostly I'm just confused and tired. It's a lot, for someone who hasn't been through this before, but I appreciate the kindness, even on the criminal side.

Didn't expect to be here, but I'll do my best!

[fingersandteeth]

That's all we can ask of you.

Tyler's right that you should probably start out by catching your quota, although they do have to be level fifteen to turn in and only half the ones you'll catch here in Goldenrod will be that high. The ones that are underleveled you can add to your personal team. Once you've got a better number of useful pokemon of your own, you can start properly thieving, if that's something you're interested in.

I know that the admins never think about giving people street clothes in their welcome package, just uniforms, so I'l get your size from the quartermaster and drop something off for you before my shift at work tomorrow. Don't worry, I'll bill it to the Team. There's a lot you can expense to the Team if you're clever about it. Any preferences to color and style?

Once you're out of training hell week, your time will be your own as long as you turn in your quota pokemon every other week--unless the admins contact you to send you on a mandatory mission, which they haven't done much lately. There's jobs available with various Rocket-owned enterprises if you want supplemental cash--I can get you the sheet that shows which ones are available at your level, since some of them you need to be at least Beta-rank to take on. Otherwise, though, you've got a weekly stipend and free room and board at any Rocket base, so you technically don't need a job if you don't want one.

[If there's only one helpful one, at least he's being very helpful?]

[zenryokubatankyu]

[He tries to make a mental note of all this.]

Okay. So I half it, send powerful guys up to command, keep the less strong ones and train them with me. Gotcha.

Heh...yeah, I've only got the uniform right now, it's weird. That's nice to know. I won't abuse my privilege, but it's good to hear I've got a financial safety net for some stuff. Umm...casual? I'm used to a red hoodie and just some normal jeans with tennis shoes. But really, I'll take most things in red unless it's not ridiculous or too flashy.

Okay. The sheets would be helpful...and that's also super helpful! I'm glad there's a lot of support while I'm going through this, at least. Thank you. I mean it.

[Video]

[wonderland_vogue]

[Oh good god, this already sounds like someone that is absolutely going to test her patience. Letting out a slow breath through almost clenched teeth she settles ruffled feathers before deciding to flick the video feed on. She's just perched on what is clearly a stage with... that's a pole behind her and given her outfit there's something to be obtained from this at one point or another.]

Unless you're the type to go running your mouth, there's not a whole lot of nuance there to begin with. Honestly, this whole natives to this place are incapable of doing anything beyond children's story villainy.

Also watch who you befriend, I guess. [She's clearly not giving a name or is skipping over it while shifting to adjust her ponytail a bit to make the slightly pointed ears (she hates how small they are still) a little more obvious.]

And don't be a moron.

[zenryokubatankyu]

[...Oh. Hi, pretty lady. His brows raise a bit, seeing the pole and the outfit and never mind, this place is great? Just a little? He struggles for words for a second before he gets them.]

Hhhhhhhhi.

[Smooth, moron. He clears his throat, smiling.]

Okay, so it's nothing too detailed...just watch my mouth, watch my back, don't do anything stupid. Roger that! I'm totally capable! You can depend on me~!

[wonderland_vogue]

[Humans, it's always humans.]

Mm, I highly doubt I'll need to rely on a newbie for anything in particular. Though, I have to ask, human before you got here or no? [ONE ANSWER GETS ONE THING, ANOTHER ANSWER GETS THE OTHER. He's probably getting the bad end.

And if she noticed his reaction, she's not commenting on it other than fixing her top just a bit, can't have anything out of place. Of course not.]

[zenryokubatankyu]

You never know. I'm a reliable guy. [No. No, he is not.]

Human before I got here...well, not an average one. I've always been above and beyond with charisma.

[Wink.

Idiot.]

[video]

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Whaaaat's a normie?

My advice is don't eat too much candy. Even though it's really tempting! Don't do it!

[zenryokubatankyu]

That just means a person who isn't like us. You know, not-a-criminal. Normal person. Normie!

Wah, that's good advice for any time!!! Wish I'd known that earlier in my life. Coulda saved a few tummy aches!

[bendyandthepinkmachine]

Oh, I gotcha.

I learned that just a while ago! My stomach hurt real bad and then I had everyone lecturing me not to eat only candy all the time.

[zenryokubatankyu]

Yeah, yeah.

Ehhhh? Did you literally just eat candy? I mean, I wanted to do that when I was a kid, but that is super bad for you. Eat some meats, at least! Veggies are kinda nasty but meats are okay~!

[The fact that he's speaking to a girl about eating things as like it's a new experience phases him not at all.]

video;

[amaure]

[Well, this is...a lot. He cannot help but raise his eyebrows at these antics, he suppose is the best word for it. Really. Whatever are they to do with this boy?]

...'Tis a pleasure to meet you, Osomatsu. I am Solus zos Galvus.

[Ain't no one gonna be Solus' Big Brother, nor is he about to entertain any of those other ridiculous names.]

If you are seeking advice on how to adapt to the criminal life, might I suggest the very first step is to do as you are told, swiftly and to the letter. Do not ask questions, do not stray from the course.

You will hardly find yourself becoming a criminal mastermind over night, after all. 'Tis far better to be obedient to your superiors, learn from their example, and do not cause them grief.

Making allies in this line of business goes a long way, and I fear it does not look like you are making the best start in such an endeavor.

[zenryokubatankyu]

Galvus-san...okay.

Keep your head down, learn, and listen. Got it. Sounds criminal-y enough. I'll try to do that as best I can.

...Yeah, I'm...

[He lets out a sigh.]

I'm gonna be honest with ya, man, I'm here, I'm confused, I'm alone, and I appeared here. I'd love to make friends, but the most I've done is loiter. I don't really know what to do, so I'm just going along with things. I know I'm not.

[amaure]

[Oh. Hingashi—or Doman. Well, the equivalent thereof, he supposes. Interesting. At least he's being agreeable, even if a touch whiny, but he does suppose he cannot blame him. He hardly enjoyed his sudden arrival into this world, and he imagines it must be far more difficult for someone so lacking in...well, a lot of things, really.]

Oh, do not look so pitiful, boy. You will learn your place yet, and when you do I am all but certain you will find yourself pleasantly surprised in what you are capable of. You will be undertaking mandatory training in various skills that will be necessary for the jobs you will participate in, I highly suggest you pay close attention.

[He smirks, though it's hardly malicious or anything like that. Almost friendly.]

Work hard, show the proper respect, and you will yet find yourself among friends. Truly, it is not all bad. We are all in the self-same scenario, merely we found ourselves here ere you, that is all. Should you find yourself particularly lost, I do suppose I am not opposed to answering what questions you might have, call it a gesture of good faith.

[zenryokubatankyu]

[He looks up, listening attentively.]

Haah...that's some faith in me. I appreciate that. I'll try to pay close attention and work hard. I'm not always the best at it, but, uh, since I'm here I have to try.

[This guy seems wise. He nods.]

Thank you. I'll let you know if there's anything I think of.