silph_co | video

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Hey everybody!

[Scorpia looks happy, at a glance. Those who are good at reading people or know her well might recognize this as her 'push down insecurities and doubts' smile. She's cuddling a pair of Eevees and a Jigglypuff in her lap. All of them look expertly groomed.]

So I had a couple chats with people lately that gave me an idea! So, we all know about spas and salons and things, and that they've got them for Pokemon too! But what if we did one for charity? A Pokemon spa!

The Pokemon have lots of moves and abilities that'd make them good at that kind of thing! There's Scald for keeping a hot tub just right, and my Coalossal can make steam for a sauna! Any number of grass or fairy Pokemon could do all kinds of aromatherapy things for people. And there's massage, and skin treatments and haircuts and styles!

So we and our Pokemon could do one for charity! And that means we can steal from rude and mean rich people at the same time! So they'd put on a fluffy robe for the spa, right? And they'd leave their clothes and wallet and keys behind! We can have someone behind the scenes copy all those credit card numbers and ID stuff and addresses and the keys too. Then when they least expect it, we can use all that to buy things or get more credit cards, or even sneak into their houses and take stuff that they don't deserve! They'd probably never even connect it back to the spa as long as we don't do everybody right away or all at once!

All while the nice and generous people get a relaxing time and donate to a good cause! We could even give Pokemon a grooming session while their owners are at our spa! And the ones that are unhappy, we can rescue later, and some of them might even want to join Rocket!

How's that sound for a heist? Anybody want to do it with me?

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[... oh Scorpia, you really were meant for better things than being a Pokemobster.]

I think that's a wonderful idea, Scorpia, [Steven tells her encouragingly, smiling into the screen of his pokegear. She'll be able to recognize that he's made it to the Rocky Slope leg of Victory Road... and oh look, there's someone incredibly tall in the background, setting up camp for the night.] I can't help until after we make it to the Plateau, which looks like it'll be roughly around the twelfth, and our six month anniversary is going to be that weekend, so we were going to Mount Moon after that... but once we're back from Kanto, I'd be happy to help with your charity spa.

We'll probably want some sort of key machine, like they have at the hardware store, hiding in the employee only section if we're copying their keys, but I'm sure we can get one from the Team or bill it to them.

What are we going to donate to? Bewear advocacy or something else this time?

You're doing great! I'm going to watch your match for sure! And yeah, this will probably take a little bit of time to put together anyway. Gotta teach the Bewears how to give a massage!

[Scorpia no.]

Hmm. I like it! But we should probably spread it around, you know? I bet there's other groups that help take care of Pokemon who are hurt or lost and stuff! Maybe we should donate to one of them this time.

[After she says that, she totally talks herself through scribbling down a note about a key machine.]

We should also consider if we're going to do this in tents outside or in a rented storefront. The second might be best, logistically speaking, if we're going to have that key machine, and I believe the company does have a few unoccupied properties at the moment.

Also, I think as far as Bewears go, you should perhaps not have them as the default masseuses for the spa, but as a special deep massage option, that the clients will have to sign a special waiver for, so we won't be legally liable for any customers that misjudged how fragile they are.

[Because even if Scorpia's busy teaching her Bewears to hold back on their strength... they're still Bewears.]

Edited 2021-05-02 00:03 (UTC)

Yeah, I guess you have a point there. What other Pokemon do you think would do a good job with massages?

I didn't know that about properties though! Wonder where they've got them? It'd probably work better in bigger cities like Goldenrod, Saffron and Celadon. More people, you know?

I can't get to the list of all the properties from here, of course, but the company through various aliases does own certain buildings in the two regions, which they either rent out or use for company purposes. For instance, many of the buildings situated directly above the Goldenrod headquarters unknowingly have the company as their landlord. I believe it's the same with the Celadon headquarters?

[Because other people owning them would increase the likelihood of someone trying to dig out a new sub-basement and finding the Rocket base instead, naturally.]

When you put in the requisition paperwork for the key machine, ask about any unused storefronts in company properties.

As for Pokemon masseuses... that's a good question, actually. I'd think that Mr Mimes would have an advantage, given the flexibility of their... hands, but you could really make the case for any number of Pokemon with paws or hands as masseuses. That might be something to ask the otherworlder network at large? Having a few different pokemon doing different kinds of massage might be a draw.

Actually, it might be good to ask them for suggestions for things pokemon can do in general at a pop-up spa. We want to really sell the idea that this is a perfectly up-front enterprise, so we really can't half-ass that part.

Edited 2021-05-02 07:22 (UTC)

Yeah, I'll do that! The Admins will probably be happy to let us borrow something for a little bit, right?

Oh! I could do that right now. That's an awesome idea. Maybe that Lance guy will respond; he seems to know a lot about that kind of thing!

Yeah, he does, doesn't he? And I can ask Thace if he has any ideas about the massage pokemon, since he's good at it.

Oh and I can write some news articles hyping up the spa too, like I did for your Bewears charity campaign.

And as long as we bring them the goods without anything exploding or causing unplanned mayhem, I'm sure the Admins will be happy. They like it when we're subtle and sneaky.

Yeah! And if they're careful, they could use the copied cards and things just one at a time and be able to get a lot done that way for a long time!

Would you? That would be great! You write really well!

Thace does? Maybe he can help me learn and teach Pokemon! Do you think I'd be good at it?

I don't see why he can't once we're home. I'll ask him once he's done setting up the camp. And I'm sure you'll do wonderfully.

[So yeah, that's definitely been him in the background of the video feed. Which is probably why he's using euphemisms like 'the company' for 'Team Rocket.']

And of course I will. I'd do it for you, anyway, but writing articles to promote company projects is part of my job for them. It's not all blaming things on other parties, though that certainly is part of it.

And thank you, by the way.

[He's got his thinking expression back on.] Oh, hm, we should also requisition one of those devices that rips credit card numbers from their magnetic strips too. They're sort of like those skimmers that Jules made back in the fall, the ones we placed in some of the pokemarts.

Edited 2021-05-02 07:54 (UTC)

I'm so excited to learn more things! I'll be able to help all my friends when they have sore backs or stiff necks!

[She makes a thoughtful noise.]

I remember those! Oh yeah, that would be a lot faster than just copying.

Exactly! We want to save time. Hm, if there's three of us, one can rip the credit cards, one can copy keys, and the other can groom the Pokemon.

Oh hey, I bet I can use your champion status as part of the promotion this time too, just like I did with Steve for Hugs for Bewears.

That sounds great! And we can switch up tasks too, if we want! Would you like to?

[That makes Scorpia blush a little.]

I mean, we could, but it was really my friends that won the matches, not me? I mostly did potions and things.

I wouldn't mind, no.

[He smiles at her.]

And yes, it was your friends, but you were the one setting the team strategy, right? So you're just as much a champion as they are.

[She smiles back, a little awkwardly.]

Even if it's a really simple strategy? I mean, mostly I just went with "poison everything!" and, like, some type matching for attacks beyond that.

Strategies don't need to be elaborate to be effective. Sometimes trying to be too fancy with your battle strategy can actually harm your chances of winning. When Connie and I both got spanked by Jasmine last year when we first challenged her, it was partly because she was trying to show off an elaborate strategy for Akane and miscalculated.

Connie is Akane's girlfriend that went home?

[It's less of an actual question and just making sure. It's kind of a relief to know that other people make mistakes and still get love and friendship!]

If not for the Huggles, Jasmine would have been really hard, though! I had the right team for her gym, I think.

Yes. She was one of our coworkers and I was very fond of her. She was like a niece to me. And she was Dirk's protege, the way you're mine.

I did terribly with Jasmine my first time. I'd hoped that I could make up for not having any strong Fire Pokemon with a few weaker ones and some Fighting, but it wasn't quite enough. So I had to do some extra training with my fire types and come back after I fought Bugsy for practice.

You know, this normally isn't my kinda gig, but... let's just say I'm kinda feeling the itch to cause some problems on purpose. I've got a Machoke who could be taught to give massages, a Rapidash who can read hearts, and a head for numbers.

Sound good?

[Does this have anything to do with Jane's post on the network?

That depends on who's doing the asking.

Or, put another way: don't look your gift horses in the mouth.]

[Should she use text back? Scorpia has no idea if it's rude or not. But she's busy taking notes.

Or rather doodling a picture of a Mackoke on her notepad anyway. Video it is!]

That's a pretty orange! That's really generous. A Machoke and a Rapidash and... do you want to help out behind the scenes too? I don't think I can groom and copy down all the stuff in the wallets very well.

Yep. Count me in. And hey, if anything goes wrong, you can blame it on me.

...not that I'm planning on that, but I am planning for it, if you catch my drift.

[Lotta folks with their pitchforks out for us lately... it's only a matter of time until the proverbial shit hits the idiomatic fan, and I aim to be there when it does.]

Oh yeah, I totally get it. We can plan a lot, but once a battle--or a heist in this case--starts, something definitely won't go to plan. Never fails! So it's good to have a Kyle, just in case, even if I really hope it doesn't come to that!

[Scorpia may or may not have gotten out an orange pen to start doodling Dirk, by which, she definitely has and there may be victory hugs depicted.]

Would you want to switch around a bit, or just do the grooming or the copying?

Damn, does Kyle know you talk about him like that?

Just kidding.

I did pretty much all the fall-taking back home; I know how essential it is to have a guy. And I know how to pull it off. So leave the data management to me. That's the real criminal activity, after all.

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