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[Handsome Jack's in a good mood. It's been a while since he's been in an actual good mood, but he's feeling like his old self again. Even if he's back in Goldenrod and back to work. But who says work has to be a drag? He's been twiddling his thumbs long enough. Screw the long con, he wants some real power again.]

[What better place to start than with his fellow Rockets?]

Hey kiddos, listen up!

You all know me by now, except anybody who showed up while I was on vacation, I guess. And then all you gotta know is that I'm the rich badass who's taken over a ton of things and wants to make everything better around here.

So who else thinks this entire MO of 'steal Pokemon for world domination' is stupid as hell and not gonna get us anything? 'Cause I tell ya, I've been going over it and I just... Not that stealing Pokemon should stop, no, no, it's a good thing. It deprives the other side of powerful resources, and gives'em to us.

But we can be doing so much more! This whole planet's got essentially no government, no military, no civil structure that ought to work. It's just sitting here! Waiting for somebody to step in and start making things work. Even the police force is a joke! You know what the punishment for literally anything is? Community service! That's it! There isn't even prison!

So I say that somebody ought to be us.

Anybody who agrees with me, let's have a chat. Let me help you maximize your potential! And this whole planet's potential! We can make a difference, guys!

Plus there's buttloads of money in it for ya.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[Jack has some options here. Once he got over waking up with a brand new profession and hatched his scheme with Joker to destroy the Rockets from the inside out...actually knowing the person who was likely to eat their way to the top could work out very well for him.]

[It's time to play dumb.]}

That's a wonderful idea!

Ya know, didn't figure you for the first resounding support, Cancer Bag.

I mean, awesome, definitely. You...probably have some uses.

Oh, I can be very useful! I managed to get the jump on you after all, didn't I?

You jumped out of trash at me with no skin, who wouldn't be freaked out by that?

_{[Here, Jack just gives his most innocent, absent-minded old man smile, indicating that he sure wouldn't.]}

I'm just saying it's a bad example, 'cause you've got skin now. You don't look freaky, you just look...sick and sad.

But hey, we can work with that! You're not actually as sick and pathetic as ya look.

_{[The sort-of compliment catches him off guard and Jack cackles.]}

Well thanks! You know, I don't hear that every day!

I'm not the kind of guy who wastes any resource. And obviously you're here for a reason, you've gotta have something to offer.

But seriously, have you ever thought about a makeover?

_{[Jack soon sobers and looks thoughtful.]}

I have been considering a hair cut to be honest.

_{[His wild hair didn't fit so well under the uniform Bad Guy Hat and it made disguises...difficult.]}

You need way more work than a haircut, corpsey.

Are you sure? If I started going out of my way to clean up they might start calling me Handsome Jack instead.

HA! Oh, that's a good one, I needed a laugh like that! You...ha! Oh...

[Jack has to take a minute to get himself back under control.]

I'm gonna do you a solid. I'm gonna take you out, get you the works. Make you look like a guy I'd be proud to have in my organization.

_{[Jack lets the other Jack have his good laugh and is ready for a smile once his attention returns to him.]}

Well I can't say no to that! Thank you so much! I'll do the same for you when Halloween rolls back around.

Trust me, I don't need any help when it comes to Halloween.

But good, great! I'll make some calls, set up some appointments.

...and for you, I think you need some of my special homemade face serum. Get rid of that hundred year old roadmap thing you got going on.

It only hurts for like five minutes.

_{[At that, Jack looks just a liiiiiiiiiiittle unsure because. Well. Face staples tend to tell a story.]}

Don't overwork yourself! One thing at a time and all that!

It's nothing! Little something I whipped up myself, uses Pokemon venom. Freezes the hell out of your skin, tightens it all up. It's great!

[It doesn't matter that Jack wears his mask whenever he's in public, and it's always smooth and wrinkle free. The skin under it has to be, too. There's no way he's going to let himself look his actual age. He still has people guessing he's in his thirties, that's how he likes it.]

But yeah, yeah, it...it stings.

_{[The ex-skeleton's smile soon returned.]}

Well you know what humans say! No pain no gain!

_{[The things I'll do for you, Joker, I swear to Hitchcock.]}

Exactly! You gotta work for it!

And we should talk about wardrobe...

I think you're gonna be my new project!

_{[Jack looks down at his Houndour tracksuit. What was wrong with his wardrobe???]}

If you insist! Just don't let me take up all your time. You sound like you're going to be very busy.

I like to be busy! Makes me feel all fulfilled and stuff.

_{[Here, Handsome Jack gets a sympathetic hum. Jack and did not do well when bored either. He's sang entire songs about it. And ruined many many children's nights.]}

Alright! You just let me know when you need me!

Walter got the notification of a 'Team Rocket' message and briefly worried he was going to be recalled on a mission just as he left. But instead it was 'other Jack' with...this.

He didn't care greatly for Team Rocket either; They provided him food, a place to stay and basic funds. It was benefical for him to undertake work for them - when it was no longer benefical, he would simply leave. But what Jack offered didn't interest him. He had no need for power or a lot of money. He had never wanted to rule the world; cleanse it with fire and reawaken God to open Paradise yes, but outright control and rule it, no.

Walter didn't trust Jack's ideals of 'make things work'. While he was ignorant of the language or gestures of friendship and affection, he was accutely educated in subtle threats and warnings. And jack's language made him feel wary.

He shut his gear with a snap, not bothering to answer. Keeping low and quiet had worked in his favour before. He would watch and see what came of this, but not get involved.

[ WAIT WAIT WAIT ]

Community service? Really? Like, that's totally not awful! I wonder why that girl didn't want to just take a house if that's all there is? [ ...because she's a decent fucking person, Aligula, with morals and stuff. ] Anyway, I like, totally agree. I mean, I'm not like, super invested in anything either way, but it's boooooooooor-iiiiiiiiiing being part of something that doesn't really do anything, you know?

[ which is a lot of words to go "tell me what you're thinking of, you freaky mask-wearing dude

........NOT THAT SHE HAS ANY ROOM TO TALK, SHE HAS A MASK TOO, IT JUST ISN'T A FACE. ]

Really. And that's just if ya get caught! It's...it's really easy to just not get caught.

[Well this is a new one. And it's another kid. Seriously, what the hell, Rocket? Kids are useful, sure, but they could use some more grown ups around here. Whatever. Like Jack gives a crap about using kids and putting'em to work.]

Yeah, I feel like this is a whole organization of busy work. And come on, let's be real. Who's gonna be really making out, if this team actually manages something big? Us? No. We'll do all the work and the guys at the top'll get all the glory and cash. We deserve that!

I'm Handsome Jack, who are you?

[ FOR YOUR INFORMATION SHE IS... NOT A KID!!!

okay but no she looks like she's fourteen at best and acts like she's that or a tiny bit older, jack is not at fault here. ]

"Handsome" is kinda subjective, isn't it? I mean, you're not bad to look at, but you're totally not what I'd call handsome. [ don't listen to her you're beautiful ] I'm Aligula, the Queen of Monomania!

[ But she's just a grunt here, so. Hmm. ]

Not when it comes to me. I've got perfect proportions and perfect facial symmetry. Also you're like twelve, so thank you, you thinking I'm hot would be creepy and weird.

Never heard of Monomania, sounds like a musical talent reality show. But I'm guessing you miss having the kind of stuff you had back home. I get it, I'm a king, just...ya know. Separated from my planet right now.

But we got this one...

I'm not twelve. [ ...anyway, that's not important.

like, it is, but it's also not. ] And I totally do... It was like, totally fun to rule the city, you know? I wasn't the one who did all the wrecking [ she did it just for an objectively better reason than "i was bored and felt like it" uhhh ] but it was like, super fun to watch...

[ ...what were they talking about ag RIGHT. ]

Aaaaaaaan-yyyyyyy-waaaaaaaaaaaay, if you're totally suggesting we take over this dumb planet with all the super cute monsters, I'm totally down for it! I've just got like, one totally important question!

Whatever, you're young enough that'd it be gross if you thought I was attractive.

[Well this sounds like a girl after his own heart!]

Who doesn't love a little destruction? Or a lot.

And that is exactly what I'm proposing. Starting with taking over this organization. Ask away, buttercup.

What's the plan for after we take it all over? Like, it'll be a lot of fun, I'm sure! Buuuut, [ how does she put this delicately. ] you knooow... I've like, totally got a sweetheart back home.

[ so, naturally, she'd like to go back to him? ahem. ]

I can't just spend all my time, like, totally ruling the world here! He totally needs to be with me for that, so we can like, be the baddest King and Queen ever! You know? [ you know you know? ] So, like, do you got any plans about all that? I guueesss that's the question I'm, like, totally obviously definitely gunning for here.

Good for you, that's awesome for you. Still think you're kinda young for that, but whatever.

I don't expect anybody else to spend their time actually doing the hard work after the fun stuff is over. It's more a 'help me out with this and be greatly rewarded' kinda deal.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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video; sorry for the lateness! been busy with things

video;No worries!